»Distractions | MatsuHana«

»7«

We walked around for another hour or two. Hanamaki kept dragging me into every store he saw. He loves looking at things, putting together outfits he won't even buy. And I love seeing him in all kinds of clothes as he shows them off. I don't care much about style or looks, but I let him talk me into trying stuff sometimes. I have a hard time saying no to him, after all.

In the end, he didn't get himself anything. It kind of made me feel bad, because I bought the one thing he did want. Even if he didn't seem to mind, I felt guilty every time we walked out of another store empty-handed. Especially since he still has this nervous air around him...

"Hey, Matsu." My best friend's voice shakes me out of my thoughts. It sounds a bit insecure. "Can I watch today's episode with you?"

Every Friday, one of the shows we like to watch airs. Hanamaki often asks if he can come over, since my TV is bigger than his.

"Sure." I'd love to spend more time with him. Especially if it's just the two of us. I hope it'll help me calm down a little.

Is it weird that I want to be alone with the guy I like? I never thought about it, but Oikawa made me wonder. He really, really wants to avoid a situation where him and Iwaizumi are seperated from the rest of the world.

What are people so scared of? Is it that they can't control themselves? I guess they would do good to stay away, then. I can't see myself hurting Hanamaki or doing anything against his will. No matter what.

Maybe they are afraid that they'll be acting weird? That they will be found out? Sure, I get overwhelmed by my own feelings sometimes, but I never let it show. I try to isolate myself a bit, I stay quiet, and most of all, I constantly distract myself.

Being with my crush is something I constantly long for, rather than fear. Everything he does makes me happy, and I can't stop feeling warm and soft when he's around. I am at my most comfortable when we're together. He brings me peace and tranquility.

Right now, this does not seem to be mutual. Hanamaki is fumbling with his sleeve, zoned out, his gaze glued to the floor. Is he still worried about me and Oikawa?

I want to talk to him, and ensure he knows that his ideas are far from reality, but wouldn't it be a little weird if I frantically started denying everything? Even though he's actually wrong, it would just seem suspicious, I'm sure. So I keep quiet as we walk to my house, instead sending my other friend a message.

You:
I hope you kept your mouth shut. And you better start acting like nothing happened.

Not even two seconds later, my phone starts buzzing. A lot. I quickly put it in my pocket and hope Hanamaki doesn't notice, but it continues vibrating loudly.

"Uhh, I think somebody wants your attention..." The other frowns.

I sigh, unable to hide my irritation. "Yeah. Oikawa. I hope Iwaizumi's murdering him right now."

"Ehh? Don't you think it's good news? Surely they can't avoid it much longer..." He smirks at first, but a worried expression is quick to return to his face. "Especially with how weird Oikawa's been acting... right?"

"Definitely not." From what I've seen, that idiot would rather die than confess right now, even if he has accepted his feelings so openly. He's not ready for that yet.

To my surprise, my best friend stays silent. I would've expected him to argue with me, or at least ask me for my reasons. But he just stares at me for a second, before seemingly getting lost in thought again.

"You okay?" I ask, once more concerned about his behaviour.

He gives me a short hum in response. "Yeah."