Chapter XXIII

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"Guilty on the run, and I know what I have done, guilty on the run, and I'll never be forgiven"

- Guilty by Marina and the Diamonds

It was five days later, in the evening when Mina started fighting with herself.

Oh, you think that's a metaphor? Not at all. All control she had over her body was fighting what it was trying to do. And what it was trying to do was murder everyone in the room, presumably. 

Yeah, Dracula was in the process of attempting to possess her, and it was not turning out well for either of them. Mina was actually completely silent she was refusing to give an explanation for her attempt, but she didn't need to. We already knew what she was trying to do.

Once the sun was the fully down, she stopped and regained control of herself. "We are all here together, free, perhaps for the last time," she began. "I know that you will all be with me until the end."

This was true. We would probably all be with her physically if she died at some point during the journey. It was whether we were all emotionally with her or not that concerned me, because I had my sneaking suspicion that Van Helsing might her cause of death. 

"In the morning we will go about our task, and God alone knows what will be in store for us. You are all so good to me as to take me with you. I know all that brave earnest men can do for a poor weak woman, whose soul might be lost, you will do."

This was obviously Mina being a kiss-ass so they didn't change their minds last minute. But hey, they didn't, so I'm not gonna say I'm not grateful for it.

"But you must remember that I am not as you are. There is a poison in my blood and in my soul that may destroy me. It must destroy me, unless we are relieved. My friends, you know as well as I do, that my soul is at stake, and though I know that there is one way out for me, we must not take it unless absolutely necessary."

Still being a kiss-ass, and doing exactly what was expected of her, but slipping in mentions of the fact that we should kill her if it came to that.

"What is the way?" Van Helsing asked, rather snappishly, and I rolled my eyes. Had he really not noticed all of the talk about the possibility of killing Mina?

"That either you kill me, or I kill myself. Either way, this solution for me would be dying now, before the evil is defeated. We both know that once I'm dead you can set free my immortal spirit, as you did Lucy's."

Well, now she was really going for the lie. And they were buying it, too. 

God, we all should've been actresses, we could be famous by now. 

"If it were only death or the fear of it that stood in my way now, I wouldn't hesitate to die right here, right now. But I suppose death is not the answer. I do not believe that dying when there is still hope and a task to be done is God's will. Therefore, I shall give up the certainty of eternal rest."

It was clear she hadn't finished, but she was watching and waiting for our reactions. Seeing as we had none to give, she went on. 

"And what will each of you give? I know you will give your lives. That is easy for brave men."

She said this with such excellent underlying sarcasm that my memory of it has persisted through the centuries. I feel like you need to know that.  

"Your lives are God's and you can give them back to him, but what will you give to me?"

I was becoming increasingly confused by her meaning. Quincy nodded like he understood, but everyone else seemed just as blank. 

"Then I shall tell you plainly what I want, for there must be no confusion or doubt. You must all promise me, each and every one of you, that, should the time come, you will kill me."

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