Killed On Purpose

6

Lazzaro was silent on the way home and he was silent when we went to bed that night, even despite me saying a simple goodnight to him. He was even silent in the morning, when all of us had breakfast in the dining room and had our usual banter and bickering.

Everyone noticed his quiet anger toward me, but only mum dared to ask what was going on. I couldn't tell her the real reason, obviously. They didn't even know we went to have dinner with Silvio let alone that I had sex with him and Lazzaro found out about it just the previous night. So, I simply told her he was grumpy about something related to his work. I didn't know if she bought it or not.

The previous day ended catastrophically and it started that way, too, and the only person to blame for that was me. I couldn't ask someone else for an advice or help because no one was aware of what I had done. And I wasn't ready to face judgemental scolding from anyone.

After the breakfast, everyone scattered. Mum, dad and Chris went out to the park because, surprisingly, it was sunny, Vince went to the store, and Lazz disappeared right after their car rode down the road and was no longer visible. I tried asking him where he was going, but I would've been surprised if he even looked my way let alone answer.

"Okay, what is going on between you two?" Erica's demanding tone made me turn around and peel off my gaze from the driveway where Lazz had stood mere minutes ago. She had her arms crossed and a definitive look rested on her face. I sighed and walked to the living room to take a seat on the couch. Erica followed me and, after sitting down, too, she spoke again. "Well?"

I wasn't really planning on telling anyone and getting judged for my actions idiot Willa did in the recent past, but I desperately needed advice. I couldn't go far with Lazz if he acted this way to my behavior. He needed space and time to get his head around it and I understood that, but he was completely icing me and blocking me out.

"Lazz is mad at me for something I did before we even started dating." I told her and, letting my eyes fixate in my lap where my fingers were furiously fidgeting, I felt shameful for what I was about to tell her. "I–Uh, I slept with Silvio that time in Fajardo and Lazzaro found out last night."

Erica said nothing for a while and I feared my voice was too small to have been heard so I looked up only to meet her gaze. It wasn't judgemental. If anything else, she looked like she expected me to say something more scandalous than this.

"You slept with Silvio. So what?" she began, but wiggled in her place to get more comfortable before continuing.
"Look, speaking from the side, Silvio is a very, very attractive man and I can't blame you for having sex with him. I get you. I don't know his personality, though, but I will not get into it either or the fact that he kidnapped you. What's important is that you probably liked him then and you did it. I also get Lazzaro. Without telling him what happened, you said yes to a relationship and kept it a secret, and he was oblivious to it the whole time. He probably feels more hurt than mad. You should give him a day more and let him come to you when he's cleared his head. "

Nodding, I sighed again.

I was thankful she didn't look down on me for sleeping with Silvio after everything that had happened, and she gave me a logical advice, but why did I still feel a weight on my chest? What other thing weighed me down?

Noticing my reluctance, Erica furrowed her eyebrows and kept her gaze on my face. "How did he find out?"

"We went to have dinner with Silvio last night and there was this girl he brought. I thought she was nice at first, but she had heard Silvio talking about it one time, connected the dots and told Lazzaro just because she hated the way Silvio looked at me," I briefly explained to her and watched as Erica narrowed her eyes at me, trying to grasp something.