Author's Note: (PLEASE READ):
Please be aware that this fic is inspired by the story "Decay of Agony" by KaixinPheonix. Which I would advise you give a read, it's very well done ^^
Trigger warning: In this story there are multiple instances and mentions of Self-harm,
Suicide, PTSD, and depression. You have been Warned.
With that being said, I hope you enjoy the story!
Lucy had always been seen as a happy guild member, she went on missions, roughhoused with her guildmates, smiled at everyone she would pass.
That was until Phantom Lord attacked.
Since then everyone found out about Lucy's little secret, she was a Heartfilia. She felt ashamed, she hurt her friends, the old guildhall was wrecked because of her. What she did was unforgivable.
She had finally decided to confront her father after Phantom Lord tried to take her away and failed. She told her father to leave her alone and left, when she came back home all she could do was stare at the wall.
She had an itch, she wanted something that could help her forget her life, even if it was for a short while. Then she got an idea.
Lucy had walked into her kitchen, seeing a small knife on the counter. She looked at herself, then back at the knife, she grabbed it. Lucy walked into the bathroom.
She started to make cuts into her skin, it started small, just little things on her legs that no one would notice, for a while she couldn't even draw blood.
But over the next few weeks, she had started finding the weak parts of her body, finally watching the blood flow down. She had longed for the blood and now she finally had it, she smiled that night.
Whenever she became sad after that, she would cut herself, it was like a drug, such a beautiful, bloody, drug. She wanted it, she needed it. Whenever she remembered her pain, she would cut herself to forget it over again and just focus on herself.
Now when she looked down at her stomach, scars would greet her.
Currently, a few months had passed since then, and this had become a normal routine. Lucy started remembering the events of Phantom more often, especially since Gajeel joined the guild. She would often get flashbacks. At this point, she sometimes forgot to smile, but she was a good actor, everyone in the guild was fooled. They all saw her as the same, happy, cheerful, Lucy Heartfilia.
Now, Lucy was in her bathroom, watching as her blood flowed from her belly to her legs, it felt so good. She wanted more, she wanted to feel more. But she knew she couldn't have it, she needed to get ready to go, her guildmates might get suspicious.
Lucy groggily stopped, wrapping bandages around her waist, missing the warmth from the blood as she cleaned it off herself. She put her clothes on absentmindedly, getting ready, putting on her blush to make her cheeks seem pink, instead of their now unusual pale complexion.
Lucy stared in the mirror for what felt like an eternity, she looked at her dull eyes, formerly filled with life and joy, but no longer.
She grabbed her keys, looking around to make sure she had cleaned her apartment in case someone decided to break in, again.
Once her inspection was done she left her apartment and locked the door and walked outside into the harsh weather.
It was raining, everything in front of her looked grey and blurry, but Lucy didn't mind, she didn't mind being cold, it kept her mind at ease.
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Bleeding Guilt
الخيال (فانتازيا)After The events of Phantom Lord attacking Fairytail, Lucy's mental health has deteriorated. Now her only salvation is hurting herself to forget the past, but it keeps coming up, no matter what she does. When her friend Erza notices her changes in b...
