The CEO and Her Driver

Chapter 31

Have you ever watched an eclipse? Watched the moon cover the sun, sending the world dark for a brief moment. The shadows of the world rush in, no longer kept at bay by the bright sunshine. And a moment later, the sun is back, and the shadows skitter away to hide. As I watched Tate's face, it was like watching an eclipse. But the sunshine didn't come back. It wasn't hidden by the moon. It was snuffed out. Stolen away by my words. 

I was the moon, and he was the sun and I had permanently blotted out that sunshine.

We stared at each other for a long moment. In the shadow of what was left of the eclipsed warmth. But even though I could see that my words hit him hard. Hit him deep. Tate didn't turn angry. He stood silent. Terribly silent. It was maddening. I could see the wheels turn, but couldn't read him. 

He shoved his hands into his pockets before giving a single nod. His jaw tightened for a second and let out a shaky breath. Then to my utter and complete surprise, he walked over to me until we were only a breath away. "I hope..." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "That someday you believe you are worth loving, Allie Winters." 

He turned and walked towards the door. "If you ever decide that you are, give me a call." Then Tate walked out the door, and the light when with him leaving me in darkness.

...

Tears were betrayers. They revealed a part of your insides that were meant to stay hidden. They declared your feelings that were secret. They would rather show the world what hurt you than stay hidden and protect you. And like an idiot set of betrayers, tears were flowing out of my eyeballs like they belonged to Niagra Falls. They were waterfalls, rivers, the ocean, anything and everything powerful that belonged to a body of water. It was like something had stolen all the water from the world and thrown them behind my eyelids. The tears were endless and made it impossible to deny that I was upset. Stupid betrayers. Stop carving out my insides and putting them on display. 

Tate had left. I had emotionally pushed him out the door and there was no turning back. I had broken his heart and in the process burnt all of my spaghetti. It fit. I destroy everything I touch. I might as well add food to the list.

I was sitting in my bed, under the covers, one pint of ice cream now completely empty sitting on my nightstand as I started in on another. I wiped at my eyes furiously again, staring at my computer screen with bleary eyes as I watched Crash Landing on You, an adorable Kdrama that normally made everything better. But it wasn't working. 

Duh, Allie. Nothing will fix this.

But I had to try. I couldn't afford to be comatose. The last time I had hurt this much, I ended up in juvie. Better to just distract myself with ice cream and cute things than allow myself to go outside. I was afraid of setting something on fire or tracking down Ashton and finishing what I had started. I didn't want to be that girl anymore. The girl who solved problems with her fists.

My phone buzzed for the fifth time that evening and I shoved it under my pillow, uninterested in talking to anyone. I wanted to be an emotional ice cream goblin by myself. No one needed a front-row seat to how I handled destroying someone's heart a few hours before.

I already had to live with my shame and guilt. I didn't want anyone else to see how awful I was. But my cave of sorrow didn't last for more than ten minutes before someone was incessantly ringing my doorbell. When I ignored it, whoever the annoying person was, began to slam a fist against the door making it impossible to ignore.

Swearing, I shuffled to the front door in my fuzzy socks and long black shirt that went down to my calves, hair up in a messy bun, pint of ice cream in hand. "WHAT!?!" I shouted through the door.