Bully Proof

Chapter Four

When I woke up, I was surprised. I mean, I probably shouldn't have woken up. Fatal within a few hours, remember? Whatever the case, I was alive.

Mom was in the room, on her phone, and when I moved my foot a little, she perked up and walked over to me. The lights weren't too bright anymore, and I barely even noticed the beeps of the heart monitor. There was just one thing I had to avoid looking at.

I noticed tear stains along her cheeks. I knew her eyes would start to water upon my awakening, so her eyes were the taboo for the moment. If I looked at them, I'd burst into tears. "Are you okay?" I down at her shirt as my eyebrows furrowed.

"That's my line," she chuckled. "I'm so sorry, honey."

"What happened?" I asked as my eyes turned to the medical reminders behind Mom.

"Well, the doctors gave you some penicillin and vancomycin. They had to regulate your ventilation and manage your fluids. You basically had a really bad bacteria infection that almost killed you," she answered while rubbing my leg that was covered by a blanket. I felt the teeniest bit of pressure on one of my toes, and I looked at the darker blue circle on the blanket. Mom had started crying again. "I could've lost you."

What she told me had not sunk in, but I had started crying nonetheless, even without looking at her eyes. "Fatal within a few hours," I pulled the blanket up to my cheeks. Fatal within a few hours.

My mom let out a sob, and the sound nearly broke my heart. "I know, honey, and I'm so sorry for not taking you here earlier. I thought it was just pneuomonia at first, which could have waited a night of sleep to attend to, but then you started throwing up and I knew something wasn't right, so I got the earliest appointment for today. Obviously that wasn't enough; you had to go to the ER."

"But that's not your fault, Mom. You didn't know," I put the blanket back on my chest. I looked up at her, meeting her eyes for the first time since I woke up, "Can you stay here a bit?"

Her eyes scrunched up as she cried, "Of course I'll stay, honey, but it was my fault. Toxic shock syndrome happens from keeping tampons in for too long. I obviously didn't teach you how to deal with feminine products properly. I'm so sorry, honey."

"It's okay, Mom. That was my responsibility and mistake. I love you. It's not your fault."

"I love you, too, but let's just ease both of our consciousnesses and call it both of our faults."

I chuckled, and as Mom got up from her seat to hug me, there was a knock on the door. A nurse peeked her head in, and my mom went back to her seat. "Sorry for interrupting," the nurse said, "but someone would like to see you."

My eyes went wide. I prayed that it wasn't Claire. If Mom saw how Claire treated me, she would flip out on Claire and give me a lecture about how I have to stand up for myself and not let people walk all over me, a lecture I had heard a thousand times. My eyes glanced to the nurse, and I asked, "Does this person have a name?"

The nurse's head disappeared for a moment before returning with an answer, "Spencer."

My eyebrows furrowed. Why would Spencer be here? I hadn't seen him in at least a couple of months, let alone when I last talked to him. "Umm, sure, he can come in, I guess."

The nurse opened the door completely and the hinges creaked, in need of some oil. Spencer walked in with some Twix and a DVD copy of Aladdin. I was surprised he remembered what my favorite candy and favorite movie were.

"Hi," he waved sheepishly at me.

I smiled a little and greeted him back.

"Ms. Johnson, may I have a word with you outside?" the nurse asked my mom. I must have had a panicked expression on my face because the nurse quickly added, "Nothing is wrong, dear. We're just discussing your medications."

"Umm, okay. Please come back when you're done, Mom," I begged her.

"I will, honey," Mom stood up and kissed my forehead. She turned to leave, but I grabbed her wrist and held my arms out, silently asking for a hug. She bent down to hug me and then left the room.

"So, umm, hi," I awkwardly said. You already said your hellos. Nice going, Kiley.

He chuckled, which was something I haven't heard ever since Claire happened. He picked up my mom's chair and set it down closer to the bed and up farther so that he was closer to my head. He held his arm out with the candy, and I gladly took it.

"Thank you," I smiled at him. My smile faltered as I realized, "You're the only one who cared enough to visit, and I haven't even seen you properly in ages."

He gave me that side stare, the stare that meant I was right, and sighed. "You and Amanda aren't really close anymore, so I haven't seen you."

"That's true, but then why are you here?" I raised my left eyebrow.

"I was worried about you. The whole school knows you almost died, but Claire kind of, umm..." Spencer trailed off, looking away from my gaze and turning to the floor.

"Did she punch someone because I wasn't there? She can't possibly blame me for getting sick. I swear if she-"

"-She posted your diary online," Spencer cut me off.

"Wait, what?" I baffled at him. There was no way. No one knew it existed. It was safe at home. We were always together when she wasn't busy. I never noticed her even glance at it. She couldn't have done that. I mean, I wouldn't have put it past her, but there was no evidence that I had noticed that pointed to her doing it, well, to anyone doing it, really.

"There are pictures of it. Every page. Every thought. Every crush. Everything. The teachers are not happy. Claire was beaming when she posted it, as Amanda told me. She loved seeing how much you hate her. Amanda helped her do it and was there when she did it, so she saw and told me everything. I'm not on speaking terms with her right now."

"This can't be happening," I held my head in my hands as my body rocked itself back and forth. "This can't be happening. This can't be happening."

"Hey, hey, hey," Spencer whispered, gently holding onto my forearms and moving them away from my face. "It's okay; you're okay. We'll get through this."

I looked up at him through my tears, "We will?"

"No doubt about it."