The body of a person stretch on the grass, supported by his arms, looking at the sky without clouds. The thick eyebrows frowned together without feeling
"wrinkled face".
The murmuring sound comes with a hand rub the eyebrows until he feel hurt.
"phi Korn what do you thinking about?" Kneeling, his hand still stroking on the other parties forehead, relieving anxiety.
"Many things .." He answered and closed his eyes. His brain is full of worry about his father
the touching on the forehead making Korn relax and almost asleep. But he have to open his eyes when he feel something that touches his lips
Superficial, but as hot as fire
In hurriedly bounced up and sit, laughing, blushing, "stealing the first kiss."
Korn laughed. "It's not my first kiss."
"But it’s the first time for us" In still insists.
The eyes are sharp and narrow. He push the smaller boy down and lean closer to the head, slip in at the face, then pressed the kiss on the lips again, crushing the invaders until being knocked out. Korn laugh and like it, because the other party is blushing red.
"This is the same as our first kiss."
(End of Flashback memories)
-----------
Loud ring from the phone waking him up every day. Big hand, groping around the bed Picking it up, before turning it off, and throwing it again. Green-gray eyes look at the ceiling that is still dim. With the eyes lined up with tears before it drop down, the world disappeared on the bed. He touched his lips and sweep out gently.
Today he have to meet phi Sin.
The Main Library of the University now has many students occupying the seats to read the exam books. First year young boys from the Faculty of Economics, too. The group and friends just finished the exam in four o'clock. Some people have classes, but many people go home. ManNow herself had an appointment to eat, and Team tell him that he will go back and leave him alone.
Scratching the head when reading some content, do not understand and then realized that the teacher had introduced a good book to help expand his understanding. Thinking about that he get up to find the librarian to ask about the book.
The young librarian tapped the keyboard. Stared at the screen for a while and shake her head and turned to smile.
"This book has already been borrowed. It will be long until they finished "
Parm faint
" is there no other book, khrab?" he make a wistfull eyes.
The girl tap on the keyboard again. This time she smile widely.
"There is another book. But it is at the library of the Management’s faculty. Try to look at it there. There is no history of who borrow it."
The boy stay silent in a moment before saying thank you with a smile.
Management’s library?
The image of someone's face flashes into the brain. Would say that the last two days, phi Dean looks quieter than usual. Not even appearing to see him. Even though still chat on Line, still calling, but it's really unusual.
Maybe he should stop by
Bite the lips slightly. His hand put the things in the bag, immediately rushed to walk to the place he has been thinking about.
The activity area of the administration board is full of students, gathering together to read different books from other groups. Parm stand looking at the mobile phone, hesitating to call phi Dean. But he remember that now he must be studying so he had to give up his mind, change to send Line instead and step in to the building alone.
This is the second time coming into the building. But remembering the Faculty of Management’s Library is making him Remember well that phi Dean took a walk to see around. And remembered well that there was something going on between the two of them.
The first kiss ..
"terribly mad" blowing his own hot cheek and hurriedly slap his own cheek. Go to the library like he was originally intended.
Classroom with 60 seats of international business subjects, now students sit and discuss the exam subjects. In front of the room, there is an AC in the classroom. Causing students to come to use this opportunity to cover themselves in the air-conditioned room to read books
The sliding door’s sound is loud, a new person coming in. In his hand, he carried many glasses of water to serve his friends.
"Hey Dean", the person shouted across the room. Causing the owner of the name to put down the textbook and tie the eyebrows looking at the person calling
"just now I met your boyfriend, walking around our library. Bowing, while walking, very cute”
The eyebrows are become more frowned. Dean picked up the phone and found that he send Line and told him about borrowing books.
"Nong Parm, yes Want to see the real in good looks, not just the picture. " Another friend stopped and talking in front of class immediately.
"I miss to eat the snacks he made. Did he come today?"
" yea, I like* him. He’s at the library, right?" this time the girls friend said something and pretend get up and go as she speaks. (*she use chob = like not rak = love)
krud
but the actual owner stand up with his face looked calm. The person who intends to go to see lovely nong suddenly stopped theirself in a row. Many people are widen their eyes by the skepticism of the swim club president who has never been interested in anyone.
Dean ready to walk to the library but his shirt get pulled suddenly. Causing him to turn to the owner of the hand unceasingly
"If going to the library, borrow books of Intertrade” Win said to Dean who look at him with sharp eyes like a pencil tip which ready for the test, Win is the top at the faculty ever
Dean nodded hard. He only take his mobile phone and walked out of the room, ignoring the sound of teases and boos following.
The young man walk along the way. Frown upon his dreams in the morning. The feeling of warmth in the chest remains until he can't think of it.
Should he talk to phi Sin or should he leave it like this? Don't dig into it? He is curious, fear and feel uncertain.
If he know then what will happen? Will he and Parm will still love each other?
Tighten his hands until the blood vessels appears.
if there is no Parm, there is no smile, there is no eyes that stares at him.
Just think about it feels as if the world collapsed in front of him
..
..
He’s not indecisive. Not a day!
the president of the swimming club stopped in front of the library door. Adjust his mood before opening. The green-gray eyes swept around. He slowly walked to find the familiar person but could not find him. Try to Line him, but the boy doesn't reply.
Or have you gone back?
Dean decides to turn to go out to make a call, but his eyes glanced over to see the book that Win had ask him before. He walked to the bookshelves, pick it out, and there he see someone looking for something on the opposite side of the bookshelf.
The figure that he was looking for is now bowing down to do something. Dean looking at the face clearly. The boy jerks when looking at the phone while pressing. And then his mobile phone shaking up.
________________________________________
P@rm: I'm still in the library.
________________________________________
The cold heart is warming up slowly. Little action which is valuable.
knowing him for a few months
Decided to be together in a short time
But everything is filled with feelings
Dean looking at him, standing still, looking at the phone, waiting for an answer, but when he see that there is no reply, the eyebrows tapered down a bit like he is disappointed. The person threw his breath before looking up and caught his image trough the gap between the bookshelves. Both two people are stood still in a moment
Then he widen his eyes. Looking at the phone and then changing his facial expression and laugh gently. Then turned the screen to look as if it was just glancing. The thin lips smiling wide with bright, sparkling eyes.
Shattering his worries in the blink of an eye
...
don’t know why he was scared
...
because he love him and didn't want to lose. Love him until become afraid of things that have not happened yet
Parm hurriedly come to find him with the smile still not fading. The little boy stopped in front of the other person who still stare at him, look in the eyes
"phi?" The voice ring out and touch the upper arm when he see the person stay still. "What happen, khrab?" then tiptoeing, reaching out, flicking the hair
Dean felt tight in the chest. Want to hug, want to tell the feeling of depression in his heart
... he really loves Parm
"Ah?" Parm exclaimed when his body is hugged in a wide arms. Face began to red. Although between the bookshelf and hidden from people’s eyes, but that does not mean that people who passed by would not see
"Ph.. Phi?" Parm frowned upon the strange behaviour of phi Dean. "phi, are you okay....." the sound disappears at the end
by a soft touch on the lips
Not a deep kiss. Not a kiss full of desire. It is just a light touch on the lips, conveying what’s in his mind.
Dean puffed out the lips slightly and end it with kiss on the red cheek and hugged him
I only have this person who is now in my arms.
"Phi love Parm ..."
Parm is a little startled. He quickly look up at the other person with a trembling heart, and when he look in the eyes, he became more confident. Textbook is left. No more interested in who will see them. The two arms wrapped around the big ones. There is no other word, just a warm embrace that is ready to protect each other.
"... Parm love you too"
The administration's path has many students passing by. Many people looking at the familiar boy on the campus board, which is now walking alongside the president of the swimming club with a bright smile. As for the people who is always scolded by this president, he seems to be shocked.
Dean took him to the classroom for a moment. He opened the door and call for the eyes of his fellow-classmates to look at each another.
"Nong Parm !!" Some girls shouting. Then the girls rush towards the junior, who is secretly hiding behind the big crowd, they pinch his cheeks and rub his head with love.
"Don't bothering him" Dean made a fierce sound, but no one was interested in listening him. Parm himself is shaking his head and laughing with the seniors
"want to hold too" the male friends around him rise started to touch him, but this time Dean’s big hands turn unrully
"just look is enough" he shrugged his eyebrows to his friends and called the laugh from everyone
"jealous bastard" and the person said it getting hit by his hand until it hurt
"he seems to be jealous. na Nong Parm" the sound of the tease getting louder that Parm almost hide his face behind phi Dean to hide his red cheeks. Coming to this room is a bad idea
They are talking for a while. Dean then excuse himself to return first. He took him to the car in front of the Faculty of Economics. Today, everyone is busy, so they’re not going out together. The young man waved his hand when he sit at the driver’s seat. Then moving his car out.
Dean tilted his neck and raised his eyebrows confusedly. But the little boy extend his hand to touch his arm
"A couple of days ago, phi looked so stressed. Are you okay or not? Is there anything that I can help? "
" ... "The green-gray eyes looking at him gently. He held up his hand and kissed the middle of his hand and attach it to his cheek. Close his eyes and absorb this tenderness.
"Charging power."
He would spend all his life. To get his hand touch him like this
Hot cheeks raise up once again hurriedly nod waiting until he refused to release his hand and drove away with a trembling heart. When the car is out of the university’s fence, there are not many people who see him shy. Lift up his hand and then kiss again at the middle of the palm
Dean returned to his own car. When he got on the car, he threw the book and the sheets on the seat beside the driver. Beautiful eyes looking straight ahead with empty stares. The eyebrows are dark and then starting the car. Heading to the shop of the senior like the appointment before.
Forever Tea shop at 7 pm is still bustling. Phi Sorn looking up from the counter when he see his childhood friend walking in. He nod and point to the second floor that is now closed.
On the second floor, the lights turn dark, but when walking up the stairs, he see the light from the outside shining through the glass. Phi Sin sait on the couch, looking outside the glass window in front of him, on the table, lay document with brown envelope. One of his hand knock on the table lightly to put off the ash from his cigarette.
"You smoke a lot"
Dean drop his body on the opposite side. The eyes fixed on the envelope in front of the eyes.
"Try to reduce it, Sorn also complained a lot." The owner of the black wavy hair was frustrated. He moved the glasses slightly and picked up the documents envelope.
"Can I ask you, Dean?"
"Yes?" Dean didn't know how tightly he sit is now.
"Why are you looking for these two people?" phi Sin pick out the documents. There are photos in it.
Green-gray eyes looking at the other person’s hand. His two hands that are barely bent into the flesh with anxiety, deep breathed several times before moving the eyes to the senior
"I dreamed .." The low bass sounded lightly.
"Who? dreams of someone that Sorn used to talk about?" Phi Sin ask while staring back at the junior.
Dean nodding, stop his hands when he feel hurt. He change to place his hand on the table and began to tell the other person.
"I dreamed for a long time. Dreaming of someone and I always looking for him. Then I met .. "Squeeze his hands stronger. "Since then, the dream has become more intense, more detailed, more time consuming. I also found out that the people in my dream, their names are Korn and In"
phi Sin stopped, took out the photographs and looking at it, while frowned upon. He don't want to guess who the other person is.
"The thing that I'm quite sure is .." He lifted his hand and made his gun in the temple. "One of those two shot himself"
the person who listening to phi Sin talking while adjusting his glasses, biting his lip, feeling cold and shiver with the fact he just learn.
"Until the last time I am sure" his hand stretch to the senior "That I was Korn ... who shot himself to death." He stare at the document in the other person’s hand, which is now shaking until it obviously seen "Can I ... see the picture?"
Sin sighed heavily. He handed the picture to the younger’s hand, allowing the other party to sink with memories.
Photos that is diluted orange-brown tones, apparently new. Even though the picture is not clear, the smile of the person in the picture is stuck in memory. The eyes glanced at the smiles of someone he love in the memory hugging someone's arm at just his houlders height
Dean feels his eyes are hot. His hand trembles until almost impossible to control.
"the person in the picture is InTouch" the voice of phi Sin explaining is light but very clear for him now
.......
(Flashback memories)
"phi Korn let’s take picture together,"
"I don’t like"
"just a little please come here"
"Fine. "
(End of Flashback memories)
..........
" Kill himself at the age of 18. Just one month after taking this picture"
Dean immediately looked up.
" Suicide? At the age of 18?" He asked to repeat. It didn’t appear in his memory. He should not commit suicide.
Sin nodded "you should have missed it right, Dean?" look at the eyes of the junior seriously. "they both killed on the same day", pick up the document, send it to the junior "Clearly speaking, the person named Korn killed himself first. And then the person named In killed himself too. "
Dean shake his whole body and couldn't say anything. He shook his eyes and close it and kept his mind for a moment before looking at the document in front of him. Reading the letters slowly
"InTouch Chatpokin"
"Are you familiar with this surname?"
The young man shake his head.
"then, I ask do you know Anhtika Chatpokin?"
he continue shaking his head
"You know, your mother's maiden name?"
The big hand twitching. The sharp eyes open wide immediately staring at his senior
"Alin Chatphokin," Sin speaks slowly and clearly.
".... A person named Anhtika is your grandmother."
"... Dean"
...
...
"The person in that picture, none other is the younger brother of your Grandma."
Dean can't remember how he could drive himself out of the store. He don't even know which way he turn. Then, knowing the clock on the car has changed to five and a half. He constantly drives around the capital. The eyes are not so focused. Everything goes just following his instinct.
‘After Korn died from suicide In almost immediately kill himself too. Still the child named Korn was still 20, seeing that both parents were definitely very upset. But Korn's father was influential, and has money to keep the information shut. While In’s family is moderately good, but still not enough to keep all the news. You go to live with your grandmother from childhood. Then my mother barely contacted the grandmother. I think you should know InTouch because he is boy.’
The sound of phi Sin still hovers in the head. Two hands are strain, holding the steering wheel tightly. Uncomfortable like suffocating Dean tighting his jaw, his temples hurt. Memories tried to sputter out and are making him suffer, they are
… .
(Flashback memories)
Phi love In
don’t!!! Pi Korn
love In very much, the most
Phi don't leave me.
after graduate we’ll flee together, right?
I love phi .. you have promise me na
...
promise to be together forever
bang !!!
(End of Flashback memories)
The warm water droplets flow out from the eyes as he can’t hold them back.
He brought his lover to die together.
Destroy a bright smile, destroying a beautiful future. Left tears, screams and heart broken to pieces before he died, he who should protect
was kill In
he kill his own lover
tense !!
"You are bad, bad." He smashed the car's steering wheel until the car swayed. Fortunately nobody wake up very late, making the road is empty
"you are bad!"
tense !!
"You are bad !!!!"
A loud shouting sound from inside a car that is parked on the roadside. Dean collapsed in front of the steering wheel, allowing tears to burst into a line with shaking shoulders. He knew why he was afraid of loud noise. He already knew why he liked to cook. The deep memories of him still remember everything. Even the thing that he committed suicide in front of him or even wanted to learn to cook
Everything is because of him.
***
Low-rise condo in the alley with a bright lights. Dean didn't know when he was driving here. The young man nod to the guard who was familiar and moved to the park. The light iluminates tells the floor in the elevator with slow movement. He pressed down the numbers before moving to the desired floor.
The condo is quiet because it's midnight. Dean stopped standing in front of the 802 room. The familiar room, large hand touched on the doorknob. The cold door closed then he decide to knock on it.
The sound of the doorbel rang along the path. There is no response from the room. Dean tried to knock a few more time and couldn't think of anything. He was hesitant, put his hand in the pocket, suddenly touching something.
The big hand pulls up the leather key chain. The keys of his room still remain in the same place. Green-gray eyes looking at the door, decide to use the key .. open the room gently,
"Ah"
exclamation and confrontation because he is not prepared. The owner of the room in the long-sleeved pajamas stood in front of the door when the intruder opened the door. Actually, Parm has gone sleep, but he couldn't close his eyes. When he finished drinking, he was about to go back to sleep and heard the knock on the door. Today, Parm didn't put on the door chain, so he had to hurry to see who came at midnight. But not yet able to peek on the hole, the door was opened with the familiar body
"Phi ..."
The person he was really not expecting
Parm swept his eyes and look piquant. Stopped at the beautiful eyes, which is now red. The boy reach out his hand to rub, which the older man close his eyes and allowed him to touch the eyelids.
"... Can I ask?"
Dean reached the other hand to catch the wrist. He smile slightly, too weary.
"Can I hold you?"
"Eh"
Parm blinking his eyes.
"Then phi will tell you … everything" gently kiss his wrist.
Looking at the midnight intruders for a long time before drop his eyes and pull the other hand into the room instead of an answer
This time, the door is locked and chained. The boy turn and walk away in the bedroom that separated by the living room with a mirror. Therefore Dean can see what he is doing. After a while, he returned with a towel and pants.
"This leggy pants should be able to be worn. But ... I don't have phi Dean's size shirt. "
Dean widen his eyes then gently rubs his head.
"Normally, I don't wear a shirt when sleeping." He accepted the pants and towel and ask if he could use the bathroom. Parm quickly nod and picked up the things needed, wrap it in a new package. When the bathroom door is closed, he come back and sit down on the sofa, strewn his knees and tucked his face down.
phi Dean came and stay ..
the excited person try to breath deeply, cheek becomes red themselves, then try to think about whether there are spare blankets or pillows. But his room had nothing. Looking at the small sofa that he sits and sighs. Phi Dean sleeps on the bed should be more comfortable.
thingking like that and then move to lie on the soft sofa. Pick up the cushions to hug them.
He sleep on the sofa and is
…
…
cold
Parm looks so stupid before asking to be put down because he is now in the arms of phi Dean, who is still wet because he just came out of the bathroom.
"phi !?" He screamed at phi Dean, who ignorantly holding him and walking and lay him on the bed. Teasing the boy who is now had a red face, helpless
"Why don’t you sleep in the room," phi Dean said scolding
"phi is big, it will be uncomfortable because my bed is only 3.5"Parm tried to get out of bed to sleep on the sofa. But was pulled down to lie on the soft bed Followed by the phi laying on top of him.
Parm is hot all the time. When the nose is touch to the neck. He don't know where to put his hand because he touch it, the body of the invader. His heart beats hard when he is kissed at the end of the chin and is almost indifferent when Dean push his lips onto the chest at the heart position through a thin pajama
"phi Dean ..." he make a moan. Now, both of them are close to each other until they feel each other's hot breath. Parm closed his eyes, grab the bedsheet tightly.
.. Then all the moves stopped.
The room is quiet. Only the sound of air conditioning and the heart beat. phi Dean attaches his face to the warm chest. Close his eyes, inhale the aroma of the lover that makes him calm down. The broken heart is coming back together as one piece again, just because there is Parm beside him.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry
I'm sorry for your heart.
Sorry for not protecting ..
Dean tightens his arms around him. Tug his face, listen to the heartbeat that come back to dance rhythmically. Can feel what is called life. He curled up a bit and tucked himself like an injured animal. He didn't ask anything again, but the touched lightly on the head makes him relax. His lover’s hand slowly brush his hair. While the other hand stroked the back. Hug him with a small but great arms
The sound of a loud voice on the ears
"Never mind ..."
The hot eyes of the young man came up again.
"... It's okay."
Kiss lightly at the temples like the heart.
".. I am here .."
as the light at the end of the tunnel
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