pure vanilla book LAWL

tired

hes so tired, but ignorance is bliss, is it not?

(a book where pv literally passess out from exhaustion)

warning; mention of ed (eating disorder)

-

he wouldnt let the other know it, but he was spent, to put it simply. another wave of exhaustion came over him as he casted yet another healing spell, his wand sympathetically looking at him.

just a little longer.

his body felt like it was going to collapse, as the others slashed their swords and casted their attacks, he trudged along, healing them yet again.

their shouts of triumph made him less and less happy to exist. god how he hated yelling, he tried to talk to them about it but his own mind got the best of him, telling himself that it was really nothing (although hes had many panic attacks from yelling).

"is everyone okay?" the words slurred together in his mind, but giving a slight thumbs up to hollyberries words. her smile was pure, he couldn't say the same for his own. as faking it seemed to be a chore.

he couldn't quite tell if they were looking at him.

he dozed off more than once in battle, almost getting attacked by the enemies when they werent paying attention, because why would they?

----

now as he tried to push himself up to battle, he couldnt quite keep his eyes open. he could see them in front of him, all blurred together. and then suddenly he couldnt bring himself to stand, his legs shaking as he fell to the ground.

"pure vanilla?!" was the scream of white lily, at least he assumed it was. their voices raising as they rushed to pure vanilla, but still fending from the enemies at the same time.

then he had felt guilt,

he had failed them, hadn't he? because if he had not been healing them, then what use was he?

-

he had finally woken up after what felt like hours, not noticing that he had even passed out, he looked around to see he was in the shared bedroom,

and he couldnt ignore the worried faces of the other ancients.

golden cheese was the first to speak up, "pure vanilla, you need to take better care of yourself. you wear yourself out everyday and i, we, just wanna know your alright." he could tell the others agreed. he couldnt really process a lot but he got the hint that they knew he wasnt taking care of himself as much as he needed to.

"i-, its not really a big deal. i just wore myself out is all, a little nap could fix anything of the sort." he spoke, trying to fake a smile as he eyes burned on him. he didnt realize they were sympathetic glares though.

the more he pressed on, the more he just wanted to admit something was wrong, but he couldnt do that with his mindset right now. so, the kept denying the issue over and over again, in hopes everything would be okay.

in deed it was not okay.

-

after a while of them insisting they knew more than they led on, he broke down into tears. hollyberry knew it was coming, she could see him cracking from miles away, thats how obvious it was, "shh, shh vanilla. mhm, itll be ok." she whispered, as the others heard him sobbing out unintelligible words. hollyberry acted what she knew what he was saying, when she really didn't have a clue.

"yeah. let it all out." dark cocao tried to be encouraging as he pat pv's back. eventually pure vanilla calmed down, and was willing to be a bit more reliable when it came to his feelings.

definitely not his eating habits, though.

but thats a tale for another time.

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pls read; uh yeah i am a fictive of pure vanilla and this is literally just a book that i can rant my feelings on to,,,,. and sometimes these are literally just things from source memories but i wont tell u that ahaha.