I'm Sorry for Loving you - drake angst fan fiction(rewritten - the music freaks)

I'm Sorry for Loving you - part one <3

Before you read this story, incase you haven't read the description.
This story has some strong mentions and themes involving self h*rm, implied su*c*de, internalised homophobia, blood mentioning and graphic distress.
If ANY of these may trigger you then I would advise against reading.
I am sorry for this, Drew. And everyone who reads it :))
Even so, I hope you'll enjoy this little emotional wreck of a story <3

'Goodbye, father. Goodbye, mother. love you!' Drew shouted after his parents as he was about to leave for school.
...
No response.
Drew frowned and let out a small sigh before grabbing the door handle and swinging the door open in aggression.
'Great... another day of having to put up a front.' Drew mumbled to himself quietly.

'Hey, Drew!' Henry shouted as he ran up to him.
'Oh- hey, Henry.' Drew said in a confused tone as he looked around for Jake.
Usually Drew would arrive to school to see the three all standing together, but this time it was just Liam and Henry. In fact it had been happening more often lately...
'Umm.. where's Jake?' Drew said with raised eyebrows as he walked with Henry toward Liam.
Henry sighed out of his teeth.
'With the music freaks again...' he said.
Drew looked down, disappointed.
'Oh...' he said as his frown was quickly replaced with a smile as Liam came up to him and put his arm around his shoulder.
Henry pouted and kissed Liam in jealousy.
'Don't you try and steal my boyfriend, Drew!' Henry said, sarcastically.
Liam laughed and threw Henry over his arms.
'Oh, don't worry... I wouldn't be able to anyway.' Drew laughed.
Drew wished so deeply that he could have what they have. Love... affection. Attention or simply just someone to reassure him. He knew who that someone he wanted was. He'd known for so long.
Didn't quite mean he'd accept it though. Drew had gay friends. He accepted them... so why did he find it so hard to accept himself.
Dammit...
'Hey uh... can you guys excuse me for a few minutes?' Drew said with a fake smile and he ran off into the school building.
Liam and Henry exchanged concerned glances.
'Do you think Drew is okay? He's been looking kinda down lately... perhaps it's because of Jake. You know he-' Henry spoke.
Liam smiled softly at his boyfriend.
'I have a feeling Drew is in that stage where it's... difficult. You know?'
Henry nodded.
They both knew too well what that feeling was like.

Drew ran through the school corridors and into the bathroom.
Jake stood by lockers in the corridor and stared as he watched Drew.
'Drew...?' he thought to himself.
Drew smashed his fists against the bathroom sinks and dropped his head in anger and shame.
He punched the sink again and flinched at the pain.
'Dammit... god fucking dammit.' Drew whispered under his breath.
His knuckles were bleeding into the sink and he grabbed his hair, trying not to cry.

Drew ran into a cubicle to lock himself in so that nobody could find him.
'They hate you... he hates you...' Drew kept thinking to himself as he sat on the bathroom floor and cried while holding his bloody hand.
Drew flinched and started crying even more as he stared at his fist in shock. It hurt... it hurt so bad.
'Fuck...' Drew cried and he buried his head into his knees.
'See... you are a failure. Your parents hate you... GOD! THEY'RE GOING TO HATE YOU EVEN MORE ONCE THEY SEE THIS!' Drew screamed and frantically put his good hand into his pocket to take out a razor knife.
Drew's hands were shaky and his tears were staining his trousers.
'This is what you get for being a disgusting, FUCKING HOMO.' Drew shouted hoarsely as he was about to cut his wrist before abruptly stopping and dropping the knife.
He put his hand over his mouth as he heard slow footsteps drawing closer to his cubicle.
'Drew...? I heard shouting...' Jake said in a worried tone.
Drew stayed silent.
'Please... please let me in, Drew.' Jake said and he placed his hand against Drew's cubicle door.

...
Drew started crying hysterically as he opening the door and fell into Jake's arms. He dug his nails into the other boys' shoulders and screamed painfully, almost choking on his tears.
Jake cradled him reassuringly and held him close as Drew continued to cry onto his chest.
'It's okay...' Jake whispered into Drew's ear, trying his hardest not to cry himself.
'It's not... I'm not.' Drew tried to laugh.
'What happened-?' Jake asked before spotting Drew's bloody fists and the knife on the floor.
'Oh Drew... shit.' Jake cried as he hugged Drew even tighter and rubbed his back softly.
Drew wrapped his arms around Jake before spitting out a few words.
'They all hate me... I'm a disappointment so I honestly understand why. They never pay attention to me... I just want my family to love me!' Drew shouted as he continued to cry and Jake listened.

'I always have to look so tough... and be so perfect. The truth is, I don't really love Zoe. I'm just forced... I'd be an outcast otherwise.' Drew explained, still crying as he wiped his arm against his nose.
'Wait- you'll hurt yourself even more.' Jake said as he took a bandage out of his pocket and wrapped it around Drew's hand.
'I always keep these incase Milly gets into a scrap.' Jake said with a small laugh as Drew stared at him sweetly.
'I just can't take it-' Drew said once again and he leaned back onto Jake's chest.
Jake held Drew up so that he could look directly at him.

Drew stared at Jake and flickered his eyes before gently putting his hand on Jake's cheek.
'Please trust me on this... even if you can't on anything else.' Drew said before leaning forward and kissing Jake.
It was such a short lived kiss combined with sadness and love.
They parted ways and Drew sighed.
'I'm sorry...' Drew said before picking his bag up, standing up, and walking out of the toilet.

Jake just sat there in utter shock as he placed his hand up to feel his lips.
He never knew that Drew felt that way... but he's glad he does.

One week later
...
Drew stroked the piece of scrappy paper gently before taking a deep breath and placing a kiss onto it.
'I'm sorry, Jake... I'll miss you.' he said and put the letter inside of Jake's locker.
'I'm sorry for everything...'

'I'm sorry for loving you. - Drew.' were the simple words written on the letter.
Jake stared at the letter before he started to cry.

And Jake would cherish that letter forever for it was Drew's last words.