Wilbur Angst Oneshots (YCGMA)

Jubilee Line

Hello! This chapter will include topics such as:
-suicide
-suicidal thoughts and ideation
-blood/gore
-self-harm/cutting
-descriptive descriptions of self-harm
-cigarettes
-burning/burns
-intrusive thoughts/impulsive thoughts
-panic attack
Please let me know if I miss anything!!

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Wilbur's POV:

You know, I've had this planned for a while. I've had this god damned letter written for five months, FIVE DAMN MONTHS. All this suffering that I took out on myself. I chuckled, I'm sick. Sitting on my bed, rolling up my jumper sleeves to reveal scars. Cutting, burns, bruises. I feel something wet fall onto my arm, tears? I'm crying. weak. I KNOW, you tell me I'm weak everyday fuck off. go cut yourself like you always do, weak brat. NO, I don't want to.. you know what happens when you don't Wilbur, go do it. Go watch the crimson liquid leak from your fat arms. Fine.

I walk a few steps from my room to the washroom. My sleeves still previously rolled up. I fumble around in my trouser pockets for a certain piece of metal. I feel a prick at my fingers, found it. Holding the blade to my wrist I slowly make a vertical cut down my arm, cutting through old scars and healing scabs. I can't feel anything, what have I done. My breathing increases, I slide down the bathroom door onto the floor. Tucking my knees up to my chest. "fuck." Oh God what have I done. Okay okay I need to do what techno taught me.. in for four.. hold for seven.. out for five. I do this a few more times until I've calmed down. I slowly get up and stable myself using the counter. I reach around in the cabinet looking for bandages. Wrapping my arm was a bit of a struggle but I managed.

Okay, time to put the letter out. I grab my cigarettes and lighter from my desk and the note along with it. Ok. I'm ready. hurry up Wilbur time is ticking. I'm trying can you shut the fuck up for once?? Ignoring the voices.. I put my note on the table it reads:

Dear Phil, Tommy and techno,

I'm sorry I had to do this, I'm sorry I'm leaving you all. Phil I love you, you're the best father I could've asked for and you've supported me through all of my dreams. You can have my guitar, make sure Tommy doesn't break the strings for me will you?

Tommy, hey bud! I didn't mean to go so soon I didn't want to. You can look through my room and take whatever you'd like, keep my things safe alright? I love you toms

And techno.. my big older brother, I'm sorry to leave you like This. I know I promised but I've had this planned months ago. I just didn't have the guts then, it's gotten too hard. Thank you for being there for me techno and teaching me breathing mechanisms for my frequent panic attacks. I'll miss you.
I'll miss all of you.
But please don't miss me, you will get over me and it will be better without having a sluggish waste of a son around.. I wish you all the best in everything you do.

Love,
Wil :) 💙

I placed the letter dead center of the dining table placing a water bottle on top so it didn't fall off or something. Taking in a breath I sighed. I'll never see home again, I'll never see any of this world again. It's okay though I can't back down now. Stepping out of the door I make my walk to the tube station. It's about a 25 minute walk so I take in all the scenery, I'll never get to see it again so why not? God I hate this London air though. About another 10 minutes of walking I get a sharp pain through my arm. Not a surprise as that cut nearly killed me in the bathroom. Would've been disappointed if I died in there. I told Phil I was going to the train before I left.. he'll find my note soon I suppose.

I finally get to the rails, everytime I come here I end up coming back home before they find my note. But now I'm here, I'm going through with it. A train will come through here in about 8 minutes. I pull out a box of cigarettes, take one out putting the box back and lighting it. Taking a hit and slightly coughing, blowing out the smoke. I slightly smile, I feel tears roll down my face. I chuckle, oh look a train is coming. That's my que. As I was walking-running to the train I feel a hand grab my arm. oh no. no no no no no. It's Phil? What.

There's a reason, why London puts barriers on the tube line

No please I need to go I'm gonna miss the train.. my chance to end the suffering PLEASE. "P-phil!? P-please let go I'm going to miss the train!" At this point I'm choking out sobs while talking and tears are bursting out of my eyes and down my already red and tear stained cheeks.

There'ss a reason, why London puts barriers on the rails

"Wil are you insane?? No!! I love you Wilbur please.." he pulling me away from the incoming train. "N-NO PHIL" I yell. I get out of his grasp and start sprinting towards the train, using all my force to push past the barriers and.. I jumped onto the tracks as the train comes. Taking my final breaths..

And that's why they fail..

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939 words

A/N

WOO! Hey guys!! I hope you enjoyed :) I'm sorry the end got a little jumbled, I had a lot of fun writing this. I go into most of these without thoughts or ideas, I have little plans but not a storyline planned out already. So I apologize if it seems messy or rushed. I spend 1-2 hours on some of these but it's really relaxing and fun! I hope you guys sre having a good day/night snf if it's not do something you enjoy. I love you all and drink water please <3 :]