THE VELVET KILLERS

(6) GOING TO THE OLD WAYS AGAIN

LEAH

My jaw drops.

As I am drinking my morning coffee in the cafeteria of the building where my biology class takes place in 30 minutes, a flash info on the news just started, and I immediately recognise Saint Ives' church, where my father used to take me every Sunday. The subtitle announced JOURNALISTS AND ENEMIES THE TIME'S ENGEN AND THE GUARDIAN'S ROFLÖ UNITE TO ELUDE SAINT IVES' MYSTERY and, as a subtitle, LOCAL POLICE OFFICER RESPONSIBLE OF COVERING UP FATAL ACCIDENT THAT KILLED TEENAGER 4 YEARS AGO. Immediately, Jason McCabe's face appears, as well as Mapi's. As soon as I see the blonde's face, my heart aches a little bit more again: if Mapi was one of my best friends' sister and my other best friend's bestie, I had been in love with her since I could remember. When I lost her, I fell into pieces, into real depression, for months following her death.

Only, she didn't die hit by a car...

As I start crying silently, I then realise something: The Times' main offices are located here in London, which meant that Ingrid Engen was in London right now. Holy shit, this can't be... I think to myself, willing to jump off some bridge.

"Leah, what's wrong?" an innocent voice asks, and I realise Lia is right in front of me, seeing me cry and freak out with a confused face on. As I am unable to stop my tears, she sits down next to me, grabs my hand, and continues: "Hey, hey, what's going on?"

I point at the TV silently, trying to cry as silently as I could, while Lia stares at the screen, trying to make sense of my reaction. She then gets it quite quickly: one of those long study nights, as the others would've gone home already, she would drink a glass of wine and talk about our lives, I was pretty drunk and told her about my friend that died because of a drunken driver, as well as my teenage years in Saint Ives. 

Nodding her head slowly, she listens as I say:

"I-I am g-g-glad they c-c-caught the bastard that k-k-killed my f-f-f-friend" I stammer, utterly relieved. 

Without a warning, Lia grabs my hand and squeezes it softly, which makes my stomach turn upside down. 

Not realising it at all, Lia just stares into my eyes and says:

"I am so, so sorry about your friend... I mean, it's never easy losing someone you love..."

Frowning, I just start freaking out: the way Lia said those two words, it was like she knew my feelings for Mapi weren't just friendly ones.

"Yeah..." I respond, blushing.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"I wasn't in love with her, if that's what you're insinuating" I then angrily say, taking my hand back from her embrace. As Lia's eyes go wide, visibly not understanding what was going on, I just add: "You know nothing about who she was, and-"

"Uh, Leah, I didn't say anything..." Lia starts carefully, visibly quite surprised by my reaction. As I wipe my tears away, she adds: "I didn't mean to say anything triggering, I'm sorry."

Setting my jaw, I get up and start gathering my stuffs.

"I'm going home" I then announce, trying to hold back my tears.

What is wrong with you? I ask myself, knowing that I was out of my mind right now. Lia gets up as well and hands me my agenda, visibly confused and sad because she said something wrong - or at least I made her think that she did, because in all honesty, I never could actually admit the fact that I'd been in love with Mapi for years before she passed, and never got the chance to tell her.