Not A Dream | An Omori Fanfiction

6- Long Way Down

Aubrey's P.O.V

Hours, that felt like years later, it was morning. Calls had been made, parents had been informed, and we'd spent the night, sleeping, in the waiting room of a hospital.

Now it was around 7:00am, I think. Kel was awake too, but neither of us had once spoken. I didn't even know what I'd say... not like I could just strike up a casual conversation with him or something like that. I never even did that when we were friends. It was almost always arguing with one another, but it had been playful then.

A lot changes in four years...

I found myself absently wondering how different life would be if Mari had never died. If Sunny and Mari had their recital that day. I probably never would've met my new group of friends, Hero would still be more open and not as focused on nothing but school, Kel wouldn't have had to try and be the emotional glue for everyone, Basil would never have such a pitiful shell of a person and maybe Sunny wouldn't be moving away.

And even if he were still going to move away, it wouldn't hurt as much I don't think...

Man... kinda sucks that one persons death is the reason we all broke into five different, jagged, almost unfixable pieces. I really thought everything was gonna be alright when we went over to Basil's house last night to sleepover. I was a little worried for Basil, as he hadn't spoken to us at all when we tried and he hadn't left his room, but it felt... nice I guess. To not have everyone hate me. Then we walked in to find Basil standing over Sunny with a manic look and bloody gardening shears...

Everything was completely wrong and it just wasn't fair. Why did it have to be us...? What did we do wrong in our lives...? Life was hard enough for me before Mari died, so why did the world have to punish me more...?

The more I think about it... the more I realize that Basil probably felt that exact same way... he had his own family problems... maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on him...

I really shouldn't have been hard on any of them, but at the time I cared more about myself than them. I was just angry and confused at the time and I didn't want anything to do with my old friends at the time. I needed more space to figure out what to do with myself.

"Hey Aubrey?" Kel suddenly asked, looking over at me. I returned the look. He waited for a moment before asking, "Do you ever think about dying?"

That caught me off guard...

"Uh... I guess, a little. I mean, I know it's gonna happen and we've all been personally affected by it, so yeah. Why?" I asked.

Kel shrugged, "I dunno... I feel like ever since Mari there's been a lot of reason to worry about it. I was worried about it for Hero when he spent that year in depression, barely taking care of himself, Basil I'd been worried about since the day Mari died and he seemed to change entirely, always scared, anxious and sad, Sunny, I hadn't seen him until three days ago, I was really worried about him, and you Aubrey... I know you weren't happy with you life, and then I saw what your home life looked like... I guess it all scared me."

"Wow, I... wow..." I muttered. Kel laughed, "Deeper than you expected from me, ay? It's alright, I don't have to worry as much now, right? Everything is gonna be ok now. I know Basil and Sunny are gonna be alright, then we can be friends again."

"You make it sound so simple..." I sighed. "Well it can be!" Kel exclaimed, "Look how easily we were getting along last night. It can be like that. Mari would want it."

I thought about that. Mari would have wanted that for us.

"... I'm... willing to try and be friends again... but I can't guarantee that things will magically go back to how they were." I said. Kel smiled and nodded, "Good enough for me Aub."

Just then a doctor walked back and over to us, "You all aloud back now."

Kel and I shot to our feet before remembering Polly and Hero were still asleep. We woke them up and with that sprinted off down the hall.

Basil's P.O.V

I just stared at the ceiling. My one eye was swollen, probably from Aubrey punching me, and all the cuts and bruises from the past several days suddenly burned or ached.

I couldn't stop thinking about the weird dream I'd had. I just felt so... guilty... and alone... very, very alone...

Sunny probably hated me... my other friends probably did too...

I shouldn't be here... it'd be better that way...

I tried to stop thinking, as my thoughts were just depressing me, but I think that trying not to think just made it worse.

I slowly turned my gaze to the window, staring out at the blue sky and watching the clouds drift.

It was peaceful to watch. Peaceful like before. I closed my eyes and tried to hold onto the feeling of peace. Enjoy it, before I had to face my old friends again.

Then suddenly I heard rapid pairs of footsteps coming down the hall, followed by the owners of those footsteps, throwing my door open and all stumbling inside.

"Basil!" Aubrey exclaimed, the others all tumbling in behind her.

"A... Aubrey...?" I asked softly, sitting up. They all stared at me for a moment before all their eyes filled with tears and they ran over to hug me.

I was genuinely shocked. Literally a minute before this I'd been worried about them all hating me. Now here they were, all clinging to me and sobbing their eyes out.

After the initial shock of the situation, I myself began to cry and tried to hug all of them back.

"I... I'm so sorry..." I breathed. "No, no, no, don't apologize..." Hero said, "You have nothing to apologize for..."

"But I-"

"Basil... all of us messed up in some way... we don't blame you, it's not your fault..." Aubrey cut me off, "Everything is ok now..."

I didn't know what to say. But in that moment, I couldn't have been more thankful to have them by my side.

If only Sunny could be here...

Sunny's P.O.V

I was alone in my little room, with nothing but the sound of my own breathing and the beeping of machines.

It all hit me in that moment. Mari's death, all those years spent alone and in denial, how much I'd hurt everyone, all of it, and I could no longer hold anything in.

I just stared up and sobbed. Sobbed until I felt satisfied. I couldn't deny it anymore... couldn't just bottle it up and never let it out...

Eventually I calmed down and began to realize my other problem. I now had to tell my friends the truth. And that was terrifying...

I slowly sat up and shakily stood to my feet, clinging to the rail of my hospital bed. My eye sight was most definitely messed up. My depth perception was weird and everything was kinda blurry.

I forced myself to walk anyway, all the way over to the hospital balcony. I figured out here I could try and clear my head. No one would bother me...

I stumbled my way over to the railing and wrapped both my hands around it, closing my eyes and trying to take deep breaths.

Eventually I opened my eyes again  and stared down to the world below me.

What would it feel like to just... let go...?

...

It's a long way down...

A/N: Bahaha, suspense-