Ridin' High!: A King of the Hill Fan Episode

Chapter 5: The Dreaded Cold

After roughly 30 minutes, the crew finally arrived at the hunting grounds. Bobby peeked out the window and saw some familiar faces. "Hey, dad! Its those twig boys from the Mega Lo Mart!" Bobby shouted as he pointed to the window. "WHAT?" Hank said, he looked out the window only to reveal his son was correct. Those were the same people they ran into at the Mega Lo Mart. "Those are some fine lookin men, Hank. What did you do to upset em?" Dale chimed in. "It was the other way around, they thought we were amateurs that didn't know what the hell we're doing." Hank snapped back. "Now grab your guns, we're about to kick some twig boy ass." The group cheered and suited up for the cold and dreary hunt. 

"Now Bobby. Don't make any eye contact or interact with those hooligans, understand?" Hank whispered to his son. Bobby nodded in order to keep his dad happy. Dale and the others piled out of the car. "You thinkin what I'm thinkin?" Bill gave Dale a pretty unsettling glare as a sign not to piss Hank off. "Now Dale, You have one of those fancy GPS gadgets on you, right?" Dale nodded "Yes, I do in fact have one connected to the bugabago." The group was relieved since they finally have a way to get back without being lost. "I also have a duffel bag with a few camping supplies in case, I dunno. We do in fact get lost." Bill said scratching his bald head. "Good thinking, Bill." Hank said. "Now let's get going." 

The group made their way through the cold, it would start to snow harder around 6:00 pm, Hank and the group had caught no deer in the hour and a half they had been in the fields, and even if they did, there was no one to carry a dead, lifeless body of a deer back to the car, especially in the conditions of this particular evening... 

"Dale....We gotta turn around...its getting too cold..." Bill said shivering, Dale scoffed "Oh COME ON, Bill. You should have enough body fat on you to be able to keep you warm, that's why I didn't allow you to wear a coat." a gunshot was heard, one of the twig boys had caught their 4th deer by now. "Come on, we gotta keep going!" Hank commanded. He was never this stubborn in any scenario, even if it was as life threatening as a snow storm. He knew Dale would go apeshit if he was told to give up. It was then that another gunshot was heard, the group jumped only to find a gun in Joseph's hands and a bloodied dead deer next to him. "Oh my God... My boy killed a deer, guys! Can you believe it?" Dale cheered as he jumped up and down. "Dad, we gotta find a way to take this with us." Joseph replied reminding his dad. Hank sighed "Well...we should probably head back since this is as good as its gonna get. Now Dale, could you turn on your GPS?" Hank and the others then resorted to sitting in the snow while Dale, Bobby, and Joseph held guns in their hands. 

Dale hit the power button, GPS didn't turn on, hit the button again, it still didn't turn on. "Oh no...." Dale quivered. He quickly opened the battery compartment and found out he hadn't replaced the batteries in the GPS in months! "Uhhh....Guys?" Hank became so pissed the snow he was sitting in melted around him. "DAMMIT DALE!" Hank was about to beat the living shit out of his friend before being restrained by Bill and Boomhauer. "Ok, we can handle this... Bill? I need you to find a spot in the woods over there for us to camp for the night. We'll follow our tracks to Dale's van in the morning....if we're lucky enough that is..." Hank then took a blanket out of Bill's duffel bag and wrapped it around himself and the others. 

"W-Will we be ok, Mr. Hill?" Joseph whispered. "We'll be fine, Joseph. Just fine..." Hank replied. "We're just in kind of a bad spot at the moment... but us Alrenians can handle this. We're team Hill for cryin out loud. Now who's with us!" Hank shouted raising a fist in the air, the rest of the group cheered as Bill returned, "Found a spot. Also you could have waited until I came back for us to do that fancy cheer." Bill crossed his arms and made his ay back into the woods with his friends in the rear. "Buckle up, everyone... Its gonna be a long night..." Hank spoke...