Ours

Chapter 20

"All bewer?" Nova asked as she rushed over to Ashley.

"Not yet but your hugs definitely help," She smiled as Salem gave her kisses. "Did you mind for your daddies?" She asked as they sat on each side of her.

"Yes," They said in unison.

"Good, go give them hugs because a few of them are going to go pick up Oma for Mommy and then guess what?" She asked fake excitedly.

"What?" they asked hopping up and down.

"I need you to go potty then pack Belle and Rose's backpacks and Daddy Gabe will go with you so he can help because in a little bit we are going to go see Daddies home, how does that sound?" She asked. "That way if Mommy gets sick you can stay with your daddies and will already know what the house looks like. I also think if you ask Daddy Kota and Daddy Gabe nicely they can find a bedroom to turn into your room and maybe one day you can stay the night over there."

"We we?" They asked squealing in excitement.

"Well, we won't know unless we go look, now will we?" Ashley asked. The girls hoped down and rushed to Gabe and started pulling on his hands.

"Wet's go Daddy," they said as they pulled him to the hallway. "Wet's go peas."

"Really Pookie?" Sean asked hopefully.

"It doesn't mean anything," she glared at him, "I'm just thinking logically, it would benefit the girls to already know the house layout and it would be better for you to watch Oma and myself if we are in the same house. It's purely just because of my health right now and for the benefit of the girls."

"Understood," Owen nodded, "but thank you."

"Whatever," She shook her head and stood, "I have to get the girls' lesson plans ready for today. I need to know who is going to pick up Oma so I can let her know."

"I will," Silas, Nathan, and Axel said in unison.

"Fine," She said picking up her phone. She sent off a text then walked over to a bookcase. She pulled out a couple of different counting workbooks and crayons then put them in a tote bag along with some workbooks on colors.

"Can I drive your car since it already has the car seats and so you don't have to drive?" Luke asked.

"Whatever," She mumbled as she headed to the kitchen to grab some sippy cups, dishes, and silverware for the girls. She grabbed the box of Belle and Rose's stuff as well.

She grabs the counter and takes a few deep breaths. She went to her room and headed to the bathroom. She opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed the pain pill bottle. She tried to unscrew the lid but couldn't. She sighed and tried again. She bit her lip and blinked back tears as she tried unsuccessfully again.

"Let me Baby," North said softly coming into the bathroom. She froze as he took the bottle and handed her two pills after reading the label. He opened her water bottle and held it out. She blinked back tears and took her medicine. He placed the bottle back in the cabinet and she went to sit on her bed. She closed her eyes then laid down. North watched a tear slip free then she heard someone come to her door. "Give her a minute," He said and the footsteps retreated. "Too much Baby?" he asked softly as he watched another tear slip free.

She rolled away from him and clutched her pillow. "You don't know how much I use to wish for you to come help me with them," She whispered so softly he almost didn't hear her. He slipped his phone out and hit the record app. He knew this was something important she was about to tell him. "When they were in the hospital for RSV it was so scary being there by myself. I actually did call then to tell you about them, but the house number was disconnected."

North frowned, "The number has never been disconnected, none of our numbers have been Baby."

"Well, it said it was no longer in service," She whispered. "Anyway, they got better so I took it as a sign that it wasn't time for you to know about them. I learned how to do everything myself, I don't know how to release some of that control back to you, not after you broke my heart. You don't understand North, none of you do. I had so many dark thoughts, very bad thoughts at the beginning and I actually tried a couple of times to go through with them." North inhaled at that fact. "But then I found out about being pregnant and I couldn't. I figured if you knew then you would realize I wasn't lying but you wouldn't even let me talk. If I wasn't pregnant, I really would have lost the battle to the thoughts. You will never understand how much you destroyed me by not believing me. You were supposed to love me, I was supposedly your true love but you didn't act like it. I figured if I wasn't your true love then at least I got something good from the relationship besides deception and a broken heart. I admit I was and am still mad and while I swore I would never tell you about the girls I wasn't going to bad mouth you to them. They deserve to only know the good things, that's why they think you can't be here because you are out there helping others. When I found out I was sick Oma wanted me to tell you immediately but I wasn't ready, plus I admit a huge part told me you either wouldn't believe me or you would think I was just trying to get back with you. The biggest fear and reason I didn't want to tell you about them is that you would use the cancer against me and take the girls away from me. They are the only reason I am fighting, if you were to take them away from me I wouldn't survive."

"Never Baby," North fell to his knees and gently turned her to face him. He wiped the tears from her face. "I swear Baby we will never take them away from you."

"Thank you, I can't lose them, they are my life," She burst into tears and he held her until she cried herself to sleep. He grabbed his phone, stopped the recording and sent it to the group along with the message to not listen around the girls. His heart broke even more as he held his Baby and wiped the tears that still leaked from her eyes even in her sleep.