#FS4
For the past two weeks, I forced myself to avoid thinking about Hesperus. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano ko nakaya sa unang linggo hanggang sa umabot na ng buwan.
Sa bagay, hindi na rin kasi siya nangulit sa akin simula no'ng sinabi kong susubukan ko si Nycon kahit hindi ko naman ginawa talaga.
Grabe, halatang walang pake sa akin.
I hate this feeling. I thought I would feel better just like what Henri and my pride advised me but I ended up getting frustrated over something I could not get in my hand. Parang may kulang lagi sa araw ko at alam na alam ko kung ano iyon pero ayaw kong aminin.
I hate how he makes me feel worthless while I feel hollow.
"Huy! Ano na naman problem mo?" tawag ni Henri sa atensyon ko habang natatawa. "Nasa space ka na naman! Mahirap ba ang classes n'yo kanina?"
"Not really, Henri. I was just lack of sleep." I yawned and rested my back on the swing sofa's backrest.
"I wanna drive again," ungot niya sabay tuwid ng upo na parang may naalala at na-excite siya. "Hesper's birthday is coming. Help me prepare a surprise for him!"
Nasira agad ang timpla ko. Henri's face flashed a confused expression at my sudden reaction. Mabilis akong sumimsim sa fruit tea ko sa lamesa, kabado na napansin niya iyon.
"Wait, why do you look so disgusted?"
I parted my lips to pretend that I wasn't. I chuckled.
"No, Henri! Why would I be?"
"I don't know? Maybe you secretly hate my brother or what? No hate, though. I'm not sure but you really looked disgusted just now!" natatawa niyang sambit kahit kunot ang noo sa akin. "He deserves to be hated sometimes naman, I won't hate you for feeling it."
Natatawa ako pero pinigil ko. I sighed. "Akala mo lang 'yan!"
Tama siya kung tutuusin. Sometimes he's just really annoying and I was hating him for being so hard to get. Gusto niya kasi yata iyong ako pa ang magsasabi kung ano talagang nais ko kaso wala akong mukha para gawin iyon dahil mataas nga ang pride ko kaysa sa kahit anong bundok.
I mean, hindi pa ba obvious sa kanya?
"Alright, then! Let's move to my announcement. I said help me surprise my brother. Last May, I failed to surprise him because he was busy with his beloved band. Duh! And you know what? The two asshole members there didn't even celebrate it with him all night! They left after the gig. Si Jax lang 'yong nakipag-inuman sa kanya."
Nakairap siya habang nagkukuwento. She really cares for her brother. Minsan ako na rin ang naiinis kay Hesper kasi wala siyang time kay Henrika, madalang niya ngang mabisita sa village.
She was thinking of surprising him on his birthday every year while he was absent on her seventeenth birthday last year because he was out of town with his band members.
That dumbass will always prioritize his band! Blake is a better brother than him! He always finds time to come to my birthday and I appreciate him.
Though, I know Hesper cares for her too but his actions aren't really enough. I mean, ni hindi nga siya maka-bonding ni Henri sa iisang lugar. Parang mas kapatid niya pa iyong mga ka-band niya.
"I failed to do a fantastic plan for the surprise since I was also busy thinking what to wear on your birthday party the next day. Bakit naman kasi magkasunod pa kayo ng birthday ng kapatid ko! Of course, I'd choose to think how to look expensive on your birthday! Nakakahiya naman kung hindi ako handang-handa do'n!"
