Small Rant (┬﹏┬)

17 0 1

by iHaveLeftSayonara

by iHaveLeftSayonara

Rant subject 1:

For any of you LGBTQIA+ peoples who see this, Do you ever feel like you want to go back into the closet? Cause that's me rn. I want to go back into the closet. I want to back in for a couple reasons;

1. They keep asking me about my boyfriends and if they have messaged me and shit (im polyamorous btw I'm not cheating) It's honestly annoying like can't they respect that it's my life and some things I may want to keep private. I honestly just shouldn't have told them.

[ Edit - One broke up with the other with my permission and a few weeks later broke up with me ]

[ Edit 2 - I have an amazing gf now UvU ]

2. A couple of my friends are extremely open and like our whole grade surely knows about it by now cause they are also loud. Probs a lot of people from other grades too. If one of you sees this... I'm only open around YOU so don't even FUCKING start.

3. Lots of them call me my deadname. IT'S CALLED A DEADNAME FOR A REASON! Why can't they just respect that. I've told them many times that my name is Ferret/Melblu not (insert deadname here).

There are a few more reasons that I physically can't describe.

Rant subject 2:

I really just hate my parents. They don't let me do things I like. I can't talk to my boyfriends on discord or via twitch chats anymore because my parents have blocked twitch, discord, many websites I use and youtube. I surprised I can still even use wattpad and soundcloud which is how I entertain myself on weekends when schools on. It's summer break/holidays so I'm going to be bored out of my mind with nothing to do but read and draw. I guess that means I will have time to update my books but as I said in the info chapter I don't have motivation. I can't watch my comfort streamers. Two of which I consider family. More so than my biological family. They say I'm addicted but I watch youtube and twitch to get away from the real world and escape because when I'm watching I zone out and focus on the video instead of paying attention to my surroundings. When I'm on twitch I can be open about my feelings in the chats if it's someone I trust. Sometimes I just want them to adopt me. Recently I have been crying myself to sleep because I can't get the comfort I used to have. Image above is three of my comfort streamers.