What The Fox? (Completely Free!)

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Alix wasn't where I left him. His armor and sword were gone too. I felt silly standing there holding a bucket of water now that my dirty, wounded captor had long since vanished to do his daylight duties.

He had warned me not to leave our tent unaccompanied but I felt too restless to stay where I was. I draped a shawl over my head and left the tent to find where my warrior had gone.

As I left the room, I could almost imagine those Imperial banners marching on our camp before nightfall. If they were to attack, they would do it during the day because they must have known that the Lycan fight in darkness.

The Imperial army banners had dragons on them, and the billowing silken looked like flying wyvern. As I walked over the hilly encampment, I saw butterflies playing among the grasses. Once, Julong had taken me into town on the evening of the New Years' festivities. He bought me a blown sugar candy made into the shape of a dragonfly. It was golden, delicious, and fragile. I recalled its immense wings were so delicate they could have been woven out of the fiber of dreams. He said that I reminded him of a dragonfly. I was the spirit of a dragon made into flesh.

I thought about that now as I walked. Who was I? Was I one of the wolf-people, mated to their Alpha, chosen by him to be their queen despite how much they detested me for my mortal origins?

Or, was I the spirit of the dragon, an Imperial spy, here to help my human people trump over these cruel, battle-hungry, savage creatures. Although I had always been aware of my fox half, I was above all — half-human thanks to my father. I had passed as a mortal for most of my childhood, and my first love was most decidedly a mortal man (despite that turtle egg Julong's secret identity as a prince).

Alix was nothing like me. He was a wolf through and through. It would always be to his lupine brethren that his loyalties laid. To these grasslands, his passionate wolfish blood would tie him to the most ardently.

Was I a fool to go about warning Alix about the impending attack? Did he even have a chance of winning against such impossible odds?

Julong used to call me his dragonfly as a pet name. A dragonfly symbolizes the hidden self of one's secret desires that dare not remain in the light of day. A dragonfly is unique among the winged creatures; he used to tell me it can fly backward. It is a messenger from the dream world, and by moving backward, it bears with it a chance to make a new beginning.

Back then, I thought I was Julong's new beginning. I thought he was a lowly thief of the jianghu, and he wanted to be with me, a common medicine woman, to create a new life. Perhaps in my dreams, I thought we would be wed and would have a broad of our own children by now.

For a long time, when I was young and foolish, I thought that outcome was his secret desire. How wrong I was.

The mistakes I made in my dealings with Julong still hurt because I had foreseen a future with him. The question now remains, did I see a future for myself with Alix?

If Alix were to win this battle, and if he were to force me to stay, could I become his Luna?

I hesitated as I came to the hill behind the meeting hall tent. Here, I had a vantage point where I could see the rest of the encampment. I could be their Luna and rule over these beasts who understood leadership only through bloodshed over a moonlit battlefield. Alix would command unconditional surrender of all those under him, especially from me, his little woman.

Yes, he was a muscular hunk with a wicked smirk, but deep in my heart, did I love him? Did I want to surrender to him? In all his attempts to force me to kneel to him, in his unrelenting desire to know my innermost heart, would I invite him in?

Was he capable of taking from me what I swore never to give to another man? My heart?

I didn't know. From the hill, I caught sight of another two wolves standing off in the distance. There was a makeshift arena composed of ravens and buzzards circling above. I imagine that the creatures had been unsettled from their bushes after the wolves had decided to make the area their play-field.

I caught sight of an oversized black wolf tackling a smaller brown wolf to the ground. I knew that Alix would be displeased that I had left his lodging without permission. After all, when wolves challenged each other, it was not a sport for outsiders to gawk at. Still, I went to Alix to tell him about the army I saw just beyond the hill.

And yet, a hard lump formed in my throat. Traitor. Yes, I was betraying my own kind, for surely I was more human than wolf, no matter what titles their females thought I would take.

I was no Luna, and I would never be such.

For a fox cannot be a wolf.