DEAR YOU [Part 1]

Chapter 4

CORALINE

"I hope you know that checking the mail again and again won't make your so awaited mail appear." my mother pulled out a box of cereals, poured them into a bowl with some milk and continued, "Breakfast. And don't be late again. Your headmistress already has plenty reasons to worry about you, don't give her one more."

She kissed my sister bye and paced to the door. My mother, the stress of her profession makes her the way she is sometimes, considering how she never wanted to become a doctor and how much she hated the stress of it all.

Sometimes I feel I can relate to her. I can relate to being someone you never wanted but had to be. I can relate to not being seen, or actually being ignored, for who you are.

It is truly crazy how often people wish to be someone else just because they like what they see, how they don't actually know who that someone else is but still, every part of them wants to be that person. If only they could see the part that they cannot.

"Ms. Jones would you like to tell us what it is that you are writing down for the past thirty minutes?" alarmed, I looked up.

"Do I need to repeat myself?" she repeated.

"Uhm I was" I looked down at my book to see what was I writing, "nothing ma'am. I am sorry." I continued.

I tore the page, "Ma'am can I go to the washroom?"

I turned on the tap and I let it flow for a while. I just stood there, watching the water flow and I saw it filling up the entire sink and then I saw the water flowing out. The water now covered the whole floor.

"Omg Cora, what are you doing?" alarmed once again, I saw Beatrice screaming at me. "Turn the fucking tap off." she screamed some more as I looked at her blankly. She paced very carefully towards the tap and turning it off, she said "Geez Cora, look at the mess you have created. Thank me for turning the tap off otherwise"

The pain that I felt rarely began to grow. The pain no longer seemed a stranger to me. It now revealed darker sides of itself to me. I didn't like these sides but that didn't stop the hurt and the pain from nearing. I felt it more often now, I felt it every time I didn't want to feel it, I felt it every second of everyday. It was as if no one was turning the tap off. I could feel myself all consumed by it. The not-so-stranger felt home to me now. I feel helpless. I cannot control the ache; I cannot keep it within me. It starts to overflow. Ah, the mess I have created.

What if no one ever turns the tap off?

"She would have drowned?" Emma said laughing, "Go now."

"Thank you Beatrice." I smiled.

As I approached closer to my house, I saw something red spray painted on the side wall. I walked slowly towards it even though I wanted to run as fast as I could, but my body didn't allow me. I carefully tried to read the words that appeared before me.

They read, "DIE ALREADY, EMO."

With my eyes fixed at the red words, I walked towards the wall and found laying there a letter, my

letter.

It was then that I realized that no one will ever turn the tap off.