Coming Back For You

Part 1

"I'm leaving the band." Liam couldn't hear anything else. He wanted to cry, but no tears came to him. Why couldn't he cry? His best friend was leaving the band, he was supposed to cry. He felt his world come crashing down. Liam knew something was wrong, Zayn had been distant for weeks now and it worried him. He should've known. He should've said something. He could feel the guilt trying to eat him up. Liam could vaguely hear the others sobbing until Harry spoke up. He's been silently crying, a few feet away from the group.

"Okay. Okay, Zayn. It's okay." Harry starts to nod vigorously pulling Zayn into a hug and Harry's heart breaks into even smaller pieces when Zayn doesn't hug back. "You be happy. I'm- we're so proud of you." He moves back away from Zayn letting the others hugs him. Niall sobs, jumping him into a tight bear hug, nearly knocking him over and crying into his shoulder.

Zayn doesn't even care when Niall wipes his nose on his jacket. He loves Niall like a big brother loves a little one. He'll always take care of him. Zayn could hear him mumble softly as if not wanting to be heard. "Please, no. Please, no." Over and over again until Niall eventually let go and went to slide down a wall, huddling tightly, rocking back and forth.

Louis was next. Zayn had never seen Louis cry so hysterically. Louis rarely cried. He hated that it was him who had caused the pain. Louis holds on tight. His balled fists clinging to Zayn's jacket as if he never wanted to let go. And he didn't. "I'll miss you on tour. So much." He whispered. "So much."

Zayn whispers back. "I know." But it's so low that Louis didn't hear it. He let's go and goes to stand by Harry who is nearly hyperventilating, clutching his chest like he's about to have a heart attack.

Finally it's Liam. Liam, who has been silent through it all. Liam who hasn't shed a tear since Zayn spoke the bad news. Zayn looked up at him but Liam didn't look back, didn't meet his eyes. His fists balled at his sides, clenching and unclenching. Liam's eyes focused on the very first arrow on his forearm. Zayn takes a step forward and now Zayn's the one hugging when the whole time he just let the boys cry on him. It's like the roles suddenly reversed. Zayn's hugging and Liam's not. "Please." Zayn mutters and it's like it snaps Liam from his glitched state.

Liam's arms rap tightly around him, still no tears come. His heart lurches, double beats, stops, speeds up. And it hurts so bad. "Zayn." He whispers. "Zaynie." Zayn lets go first and Liam clings to his sleeve, shaking his head. Desperately searching for the joke. It has to be a joke, or a nightmare. This can't be real. This can't be happening.

"I have to leave." Zayn says, giving him a sympathetic look. His hand comes around Liam's and he pulls it off his sleeve. The small cry that comes out of Liam's mouth, full of pain, agony, and longing and it rips Zayn to pieces. "I-uh, I have to go. I'll miss the flight. I love you lads."

No one said goodbye. Goodbye means a forever end and this is not a forever end. Instead they said cheers. Liam looked away as Zayn exited the door, not wanting to see him leave. He lifted his hand up, fingertips grazing his cheek, surprised when he notices that he still hadn't shed a tear.

How though? When the pain he feels now seems too much. Feels like a part of him has been ripped from his heart. Like he'll never breathe again or his heart won't beat in the same rhythm without him. Liam looks up at the others. Niall still on the ground his arms wrapped tightly around him, maybe the only thing keeping him together. Louis, whose eyes are red and puffy and filled with agony. Harry, who's still grabbing at his chest, lungs begging for oxygen. Him, who can't believe he left.