Coming Back For You

Part 3

It was the most uncomfortable and awkward dinner the lads have ever had together. Louis and Niall tried to strike up conversation, hating the silence but fails and decides to just eat. Harry distracts himself on his phone and Zayn and Liam don't even look up from their plates, not that Liam's actually eating. The silence is killing everyone.

"IT'S TOO QUIET!" Louis shouts out. "Someone please say something!" It's quiet for a moment, everyone just staring at Louis who fidgets in his seat.

"So, Lou, how's the scrapbook going?" Zayn suddenly asked and they were all surprised that Zayn was the first to make an attempt at talking.

Louis looks up and raises his brows in surprise. "Uh, good. Yeah, it's going good. Which reminds me, I wanna take a picture of this." Louis got up and ran to his room to retrieve his Polaroid and scrapbook. He bounded back to the dining room and smiled. "Alrighty everyone. Smile! You too Liam!" He frowned. Liam clenched his jaw but smiled the most fake smile in history of fake smiles. "Liam, maybe you shouldn't smile. Cause that is just horrific." Louis jokes which makes Liam smile but just a little bit and it's good enough because it's somewhat REAL. He snaps the pic, putting it in the scrap book and naming it "The Awkward Dinner of 2015".

With a satisfied smile he closes the book and sits back down. He hadn't noticed Zayn's pale face, or when Zayn took the book until the boy opened it. Louis stared at him warily and his stomach dropped when he saw what Zayn was looking at. It was the "First Group Selfie After Zayn Left". It was the REAL first group selfie, not the one fans have seen. Liam abruptly stood, silently excusing himself from the table. They listened to the light sound of footsteps going up the stairs.

Louis looked back at the picture. He was smiling, Niall was laughing, Harry wasn't even looking at the camera but he was still smiling an then there was Liam. He still had some weight on him unlike now and his eyes still had a bit of light but he didn't smile. Harry cleared his throat, turning his phone off. "Someone should check on him." He muttered.

"I'll go." Zayn said closing the book. Louis' heart seizes. He grabs on to Zayn's arm to stop him.

"Maybe... Maybe someone else should."

"No, this is my fault. I wanna go talk to him." Zayn pulls his limb free and heads up stairs. He stopped in front of Liam's bedroom. He couldn't hear anything on the other side of the door and wondered what he was doing. Zayn knocked tentatively, listening for movement. Nothing.

"Liam. It's Zayn. Can I come in?" He took the silence as some sort of yes and opened the door slowly. He slipped in and saw Liam face down on the bed, fists tugging his hair. "Li?" He stood a few feet away from the boy, not wanting to make the situation worse. He watched as Liam's body shuddered violently and a muffled scream tore from his throat. Zayn jumped, startled. The sound was like nothing he's ever heard before. Not human, full of agony and desperation. The fingers on Liam's hands loosened it's grip on his hair and went down to grip the sheets.

Zayn had no idea what to do. Maybe it was a bad idea to go up here. Maybe Louis was right and someone else should've. He struggles to think of something to say and was surprised to hear what came out. "I'm sorry." And he was. He was sorry for putting Liam and the rest of the lads through this pain. He was sorry for leaving, he was sorry for not warning them sooner, he was sorry. It was okay to feel sorry even if you wouldn't change your decision. Zayn hadn't felt so happy in years, up until now. He hadn't felt so free.

Zayn slowly made his way towards the bed and sat down next to Liam's legs. Liam didn't make a move to turn towards him, not wanting to look at Zayn. And Zayn was alright with that. He understood. He heard little sniffles muffled through the pillow and although Zayn had seen him cry, it wasn't anything like this. Liam's whole body shook and shivered, his knuckles were white and sore, clenched around the blankets in efforts to keep himself together. Eyes puffy and red, sightless.

Eyes?

Zayn realized Liam had turned over and was staring at his throbbing hands. Gripping the sheets too tight stopped the flow of blood. Liam turned to face him which might even mean that he wants to talk. Zayn takes a deep breath.

"Talk to me Liam. I wanna-"

Liam cut him off. "I just want to know what made you so unhappy. For months, maybe even years, you were unhappy being in the band. Why? What happened... What'd I do?" He whispered the last part, wiping harshly at his tear rained cheeks.

Zayn's heart ripped in two. Liam thinks it's his fault Zayn left but in reality, Liam and the lads were the biggest reasons he didn't want to leave. He shakes his head. "You did nothing wrong. It wasn't you or the others. You lads are the best mates a guy could have."

"I was just tired. Have been for a while, I just needed some time away. It wasn't you or the fans or being in the band. It was the media making shit up and people talking shit on me and Perrie and so many other stuff. But it was never you. You made me want to stay, and you know I love singing on stage and messing around with you guys."

Liam started to cry harder some where in the middle of Zayn's speech. Somehow finding his head rested on Zayn's chest. Somehow laying down side by side. Zayn started to cry too. Silent and controlled unlike Liam who was shaking and his breath hitching. "I'll never leave you, Liam. You'll never lose me, okay? I'll always be coming back for you."