Power of [ANIME]

i have sinned

“What? You wanna go in by yourself…?” Susie looked perplexed by Kris' sudden statement. It was necessary, though. “...Whatever. Do what you want.”

Kris took a deep breath. They never went in yet, and they were… a bit worried as to what could be inside. 

They opened the door.

What greeted them was a landline phone constantly ringing, and a diminutive man with a surprisingly sharp suit, a pair of glasses, and a lot of screws loose.

“HEY EVERY    ! 

IT'S ME, SPAMTON G.      SPAMTON!”

Here we go.

Spamton looked delighted to see Kris. The feeling was not mutual.

“KRIS!!! YOU [Little Sponge]! I KNEW YOU'D COME HERE [[On A Saturday Night]]!”

It was a Friday.

“AFTER ALL, YOU WANNA BE A [BIG SHOT]! EAHAHAHAHAA!!”

The conversation barely started and Kris wanted to get out of here quickly as humanly possible. Unfortunately for them, they have to wait until the dialogue finishes.

“BUT HOW? HOW CAN YOU BE?”

Kris wanted to say they never asked that, but realized midway it was pointless. It was Spamton they were talking to, after all.

“LISTEN. IN THE [Deep Abyss] OF QUEEN'S [Mansion]

[[A Great Deal]] IS WAITING For [[A LimiTed Time Only!]] A HEAVEN-PIERCING [[Anime-Ready Body]”

Hold the phone. (Nevermind, it's already on his stand.) Was Kris hearing right, or did he just say… anime-ready body?

“[[Designed BY The Classics You've Come To Expect! (C)1997]”

Well, whatever he said, it didn't seem like he was going to repeat himself. 

“KRIS THAT [Little Nipper] IS OUR [One-way Ticket] TO MAKE YOU [Big]. MAKE ME [Big].

BEFORE YOU KNOW IT WE WILL BE TAKING [ A Ride around Town on Our Magicl ‚�£óÞ¢áñ????]”

Kris got the feeling this wasn't supposed to be the deal. There was no turning back now, sadly.

“VACATIONING IN [Burning acid] WHILE YOU SOAK IN THE [Hyperlink Blocked].

BUT KRIS DON'T [Breathe] YET!! THE WAY IS LOCKED BY [High Quality Encryption]! 

YOU WILL NEVER GET INSIDE.”

Kris breathed a sigh of relief, not realizing it was a segue.

“WAIT KRIS LOOK!! HEAR THOSE [Balloons]??? YOU ARE [1000th Customer]!!.

AS A [Commemorative Ring] I WILL LET YOU BUY [KeyGen] FROM ME AT [The Low Low Price Of]

WHAT DO YOU THINK!?!? IT'S SUCH A STEAL, I'M [$!X$]ING MYSELF!!!”

Kris looked at the price of the Keygen. After seeing the numbers fluctuate more than Berdly's percentages when they were 3-stocking him, they decided to tear their eyes away.

“TAKE THIS DEAL AND YOU WILL [[Die]]!! IT'S THAT GOOD!!!

[BUY] THE KEYGEN FROM ME, UNLOCK THE BASEMENT, AND GET THAT PiratedCD!!!"

Well, it seemed like the only thing left to do was to buy the Keygen. Kris waited until the number settled at a nice 69 Kromer and bought it. Delicious, indeed.

Leaving the shop and ignoring Susie and Ralsei's banter about candy, Kris made their way to Queen's mansion's basement. One uneventful trip later (It was 2 very eventful trips, but Kris didn't like to be reminded of the time in the teacup ride.), Kris made their way back to the Trash Zone, PiratedCD in hand. They found the CD in a broken down outfit complete with a staff. Looking at the CD, Kris saw an anime girl on the cover. Kris imagined the implications of the deal, and shuddered.