Teach Me How To Kiss

Valentine's Day

I woke up in the middle of the night; 4:15 am to be exact. It was the worst and best dream I had had in a long time, but it left me sad and longing. It was about my first time with Aaron, so realistic from the sound of his voice to the touch of skin and scent. I wanted to cry, and eventually did. I felt that by no longer being together, a part of me went missing; a part that I could never get back because it wasn't up to me anymore.

Then I cheered myself up by thinking of Terri; he did bring a smile to my face. I wondered, although very unconventional, if I could ever have with Terri what I had with Aaron. They were very different in personalities, careers, styles and appearance. Maybe Terri could never live up to the bar Aaron had raised, but he still deserved a chance to earn his own place on my trophy shelf. Maybe he would even surprise me; so far my fondness for him was growing and anticipating.

.

My heart had settled back to bed, but my emotional morning wasn't over. I went into the kitchen to find my mother making a full course breakfast; which meant we were due for a talk. This couldn't come at a better time as I felt we were in need of some rekindling. We sat happily at the table; pancakes, sausage, berries, whip cream and syrup all within arm's reach. Most importantly our coffee mugs; no conversation would be complete without them.

"So sweetie, I've been meaning to talk with you...I know that you've witnessed Kevin and I dating for several weeks now." I nodded enthusiastically. "And I just wanted to know what you thought about us eventually moving in together...in the future, not right now though." She asked hopeful.

"Mom, I know you're scared if I'm going to think it's too soon or not, but I'm so happy for you. You've found someone who clearly makes you happy...so why wait?" I encouraged her.

"Oh Brynn, you don't know how relieved I am to here you say that! And of course I mean much later in the future, I just wanted to know where you stood with all this."

"Mom it's your life. It actually pleases me to know that you won't be alone when I go off to culinary school. You'll be taken care of." I smiled and squeezed her hand.

"Fantastic! So tell me love, how have you been? How's work and school?"

"Both are fine it's my love life that's a little unpredictable these days."

"How so?"

"Well okay, I'm just going to spill it...how weird would it be if Terri and I were dating while you were dating his brother?" I feared her answer.

"Well that is unexpected, but I already knew he liked you...I could tell. I know they're brothers and the situation is quite unique, but I have no problem with it. Now if he were Kevin's son...that's a different story."

I squeezed my mother's hand again as we both brought a sense of relief to the table. Then she placed an envelope in front of me, it was stamped from San Francisco. I jumped in my seat as I also saw the California Culinary Academy logo on the far corner. Dying of anticipation my mother waved her hands for me to open it already. I used my knife to slice through the envelope and snatched out the paper.

I read it quietly. It's as though reading it the first two times wasn't enough; I had to reread the first line 4 more times. My heart sunk in my chest as my eyes began to water; not intentionally. It was a very emotional morning.

"I got IN!" I shrieked.

We bolted out of our chairs and started jumping around together overjoyed. Finally, my time of independence was at my fingertips in a matter of months. I would be housing in San Francisco, and on occasion make the 6 plus something hour drive to visit. But knowing me and my Eeyore relationship mindset, I wondered if it was wise to start something with Terri, since I refused to engage in another long distance commitment...ever!