Just Pretending

twentyeight

Riley

I watched as they finally detached their lips, I knew this was something I wasn't meant to see and I know I shouldn't feel hurt, this was all pretend
But why the hell do I feel so betrayed..?

Before they spotted me, I took a step out of the room hiding behind the door so when Beth eventually leaves. She won't know I've seen
"Think about it." Was all I hear Beth say before she walks out of the room, swaying her hips as she walked
I took a big deep breath in before fighting the demon in the music room
"Hey" I said making James quickly jump and turn around. He looked at me and a smile grew on his face
One that for the first time in what felt like forever. I couldn't return
"What did Beth want?" I asked, I know I shouldn't care.. But I want to know if he'll lie to my face

"she wanted to know if we wanted to run the group number tomorrow. Alfie sent her" He said, I looked him up and down biting the inside of my cheek
"Why are you lying" I whispered making him take a step towards me but I shook my head taking a step backwards. I knew if had touched me I would get pulled into him again
"Riley" He said 
"I saw you two kiss James" I replied dryly, there was no point biting around the bush
"Listen I can explain" He started trying to get close to me again but it was no use

"There is nothing to explain James, this was exactly what you wanted at the beginning of this and it's exactly what you got. You got Beth back and I'm happy for you" I said with the fakest smile possible
"Riley listen" He continued but I shook my head

James

"Riley Listen" I said but she shook her head
I was losing her if I hadn't already lost her
"I hope that you two are able to get past what she did previously James and I wish you all the best" She said, I looked at her and I could tell she was fighting back tears
"Riley don't do this" I said and she took a big deep breath in before squeezing her eyes tightly
"It's done James" She said trying to fake a smile that wasn't going to fool anyone

"Can you please let me explain" I asked and she shook her head
"There is nothing to explain, this was all play pretend James, you got what you wanted" She said and I looked at her in disbelief
"you are telling me that honestly. All this was, was pretend? Every single second?" I asked and she hesitantly nodded
"Riley I don't want Beth!" I yelled but Riley continued to shake her head before walking out the door
"I only want you" I muttered to myself knowing no matter how loudly I yelled. It wouldn't have made a difference 

Seeing her standing there, so hurt, so broken I know for a fact this wasn't play pretend
It was so so much more than that but neither of us realised that and it took me hurting her to realise what I really had..
I walked into Studio A to see a bunch of A-Troupe there including Alfie and Beth
As soon as I saw them I headed straight over before Eldon clocked me and came over stopping me from doing anything stupid
"Breathe James!" He said before looking to West
"Go get Riley!" He yelled to West who nodded
"no dont!" I yelled back
"Because I can promise you right now she is off fucking crying somewhere because of this slimy piece of shit!" I yelled pointing straight to Beth
"James I think you need to calm down" Beth smirked 

"I think you need to  stay the fuck away from me Beth because if you are too close to me I will fucking do something I regret" I yelled before both West, Eldon and Noah grabbed a hold of me dragging me out of Studio A
I gave up fighting shortly after and walked over to the wall punching it before laying my forehead against it
"What is going on?" Eldon asked
"I fucked it" I said and they looked at me confused
"I fucked it" I yelled once more before walking out
This was the last place I wanted to be right now