Chronically, Me

Five

Drew

There was no hint of the sun nor any trace of warmth as Lou continued to walk, breathing heavily from exhaustion, and her face was contorted in pain as every step she took was like a needle shoved in her muscles...

"Seriously, needle shoved in her muscles? Was she taking acupuncture or what? What the hell am I even writing?"

With a groan, Drew pushed the laptop off her lap. After she had sent a text to Emerson along with an attached picture of Ferdinand after a few seconds of contemplation, she had decided to make her mind do all the work while her body rested.

So she had picked up her laptop. Since then, she had been desperately trying to finish a few of her unfinished pieces. At first, with the newfound motivation blinding her, her fingers had flown across the keyboard as her mind focused on producing words.

But now when she read them, she just wanted to gauge her eyes out. 

So she fell back on her bed, wincing at the soreness of her muscles. She stretched her hand beside her and snatched whatever book she touched.

Her Calculus book popped in her sight as she held it above her. Something fell out from the book and she picked it up.

It was her test paper. She unfolded it and her eyes zeroed in on her marks.

She had barely passed. She remembered her teacher's disapproving look. A few years ago she would have hung her head down with a sinking dejection.

As she stared at her marks now, she waited for that same dejection to resurface from whatever pit it was currently vacationing. But none came.

She felt... indifferent. So she just shoved the papers back in between the pages of the book and with a flip of the wrist, she threw the book to the other edge of the bed.

With her eyes on the ceiling, her mind started to drift. Maybe things would have been different if.....

No, no, we're not hopping on that train.

She sighed heavily and she looked around, trying to find a reprieve of any sort.

Just as she was about to reach for her laptop again, her phone rang. A name flashed across the screen.

Looks like your prayers got answered.

She smiled at her best friend's voice as she accepted the call. 

"How's college?" Drew asked.

And her best friend, Phoebe, rambled on, barely giving space between her sentences but Drew listened attentively and hung on to every word.

At a few pauses that her best friend offered, Drew threw in some questions to keep her talking. Drew continuously gave her reasons to keep going.

Because the moment her best friend stopped talking, it would be Drew's turn. To talk about her day. To know her thoughts. What she felt.

But Drew had been feeling the same for a long time. Hazed, not feeling much. There had been no spark of emotion in her. Nothing to cut through that haze of monotony of feeling the same thing.

So she fully immersed herself in her best friend's side of the story. She cringed, laughed, and smiled at the appropriate moments. She let herself have the moment.

Because the moment the call would end, she would go back to feeling as before.

But her reprieve ended sooner than she would have liked. There came a point where the other line of call fell silent.

So after a short goodbye and a promise to call again soon, her best friend hung up.

That haze came crashing down on her again, driving away any clarity of her thoughts.

So Drew did the only thing she could. She closed her eyes and let the numbness take over her body.