blackheart ➵ m. clifford

➵ twenty two

➵ michael

He was absolutely not worth it. He wasn't worth the pain that coursed through my knuckles, and he wasn't worth the blood that splashed across my fingers. But he deserved it. How dare he put her in danger, and how dare he show his face when he knew he'd done so. He hadn't even been the slightest bit worried when he'd found she wasn't here, and that angered me but he wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth making her cry, and he wasn't worth anything. Luke was worthless to me.

The air was cool on my skin and the fire in my veins was nothing but embers and it was her hand tangled in mine that dissipated the anger that filled my lungs. Just being with her was enough to overwhelm my body with tranquillity, and fuck, I was grateful. I was grateful for her hands and the air she breathed and the words she spoke and everything she ever did was sugary and I had a sweet tooth. I was like an addict that went crazy without her, but when she was in my veins I was floating again.

"I relapsed." She breathed, hugging the lapels of her jacket - my jacket - to her chest as she looked down to the carpet that enveloped her toes.

The hotel was far beyond anything that I could ever have thought I could afford, with plush cream carpets and a four-poster bed with full pillows of red and gold to match the duvet and unlit candles on the bedside tables and chocolates beneath the glittery lamps and it was perfect for Jett. It was like a Queen's chambers and I couldn't wait to lie beneath the covers with her until she lapsed into sleep.

"I know." I clasped her hand in my lap, the two of us sitting side-by-side on the bed as we ran our toes through the carpets that felt like silk and velvet. "You'll be okay."

She was silent for a few seconds, her eyes cast down to the tangle of our fingers and how they fit together like a lock and a key. Snowy hair fell over her face in long waves, hiding the pink blush that tainted her milky skin and the crimson lipstick that painted her lips. I could tell that all sorts of thoughts were streaming through her mind, and I simply let her collect them before she could find the courage to finally look up at me. When she did, she lifted my hand to kiss my knuckles and held it in both of hers as her fingers ran across the calloused skin and the bruising that was purpling the usually stark-white fingers.

"I told him I loved him." She whispered, and my ears strained to listen as I ducked my head down to see through the curtain of hair that hit her pretty eyes from me. "I thought it was you. I love you, Michael."

I found it hard to believe, no, this girl couldn't love me. Why would she? I was a kid with an obsession with art and her and I didn't deserve her love. I wanted it but I didn't deserve it.

"What?" I said stupidly, reaching up to push her hair back off her face.

"The last few days, I relapsed, and I saw him and I must have thought it was you," She started and my eyebrows raised as my throat went dry and I could feel all the blood rushing from my head to leave me lightheaded. "I told him I loved him. I meant you, I love you. You told me, too. You told me you loved me and I must have disappeared. I didn't mean to." Her voice was soft, and her eyes dropped back down her hands.

She loved me. The words made my heart stutter in my chest and my breath catch in my throat. This girl loved me and she was admitting it and I was proud of her. I revelled in the sound of her voice as she said it and it was as if there was a tape in my mind that was playing it over and over again and I wouldn't ever get bored and I wanted to hear it forever.

"Y-yeah, you did. Disappear, I mean. I thought I'd done something wrong." I swallowed, following her lead and looking down at my hands. It was awkward and embarrassing because we were confessing these things to each other even though it seemed as though we had already confessed them, but this time it was mutual, and that was uplifting and enchanting and it made my cheeks heat and the blood that rushed through my veins was filling with chemicals that left me elated. "That really hurt."