-Part thirty eight-

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Zara's pov

After admitting to Enzo and showing him my scars he's been so sweet about making sure i know that he thinks I'm beautiful, and its working little by little i never thought someone could make a insecurity feel not ugly but he somehow does.

It's been a couple of days that we have been here, Ava and matt went out one day while we watched mia and they got to have some alone time in Hawaii, when they came back Ava was freaking about about the flamingos and talking nonstop how cute they were

Obviously, I didn't tell Enzo the full truth about my cuts well more importantly the fact that only one of them was made by me... I will just not in Hawaii

Last night I was in our room looking at my scars in the mirror and I didn't see Enzo walk into the room and he hugged me from behind wrapping his arms around my waist and whispered "your beautiful Zara stop looking at them like that" he could tell I felt deflated about it and he kept picking me up helping me feel beautiful with my scars, he ended up throwing me on the bed and kissing each scar twice, i cried through it closing my eyes memorizing the way his lips felt over my scars

I never thought someone kissing scars could fix a insecurity...i guess it just matters about who's doing it, when Enzo is doing it i feel him saying he loves me through it without using words, and he really does truly make me feel beautiful

And he's right my scars don't define me, they don't make me look hideous they show that I lived through my parents shit and that I survived...HELL YEAH I SURVIVED, they can rot in hell for all I care

he makes me feel so beautiful and loved , and i forever will cherish his love for eternity

And I feel loved by him, he hasn't said it but I can tell with the way he looks at me, the way he talks to me, the things he does

After he kissed my scars that night he said he's gonna do it however many times it's gonna take for me to put a new meaning to them

And that meaning will be that I am strong and of course I can't help but smile a little now looking at them because I can still feel Enzo's soft lips kissing them when I look in the mirror

He's a big sweetheart I don't care what anyone says, sure he's intimidating on the outside but its nothing compared to the big teddy bear he is on the inside

And I love him for both

I talked to Enzo and I realized it's time to tell Ava about my scars...later on somewhere after Hawaii I will tell Enzo, Ava, and Matt about the abuse and everything but for now I feel like she deserved to know at least that I was suicidal before, yes she wont know most of the details until later but its a step in the right direction

We're all going to the pool now and after avoiding it the past couple of days I realized I want to swim and I am gonna swim Damn it!

So here I am sitting on the couch Enzo holding my hand as support and Ava and Matt sitting on the couch across from us with a confused look plastered over there faces

Mia is eating a sandwich in the kitchen while we talk

I take a deep breath and I feel Enzo squeeze my hand showing he's here for me and I squeeze it right back before talking

"Ava I want to start by saying how incredibly sorry I am for not telling you this after 4 years of friendship," I say taking a deep breath and starting again

"I just didn't want you thinking I was some broken flower and that you needed to be careful around me..." I say

She looks so confused and I can't blame her

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