Bigg Boss 13 - An Analysis feat. Sidnaaz

An Introduction:

Hi guys! Welcome to my writings!

Before getting started, a little about me:

I am 29-years-old and have living in Virginia, USA since I was 4 years old; I was born in Pakistan. I have never been a fan of reality shows, and definitely not game shows; in fact, I continuously made fun of family and friends who watched Bigg Boss for its over-the-top unnecessary drama. My reasoning is, and still is, that I have enough of my own shit to deal with that I can't handle, I am not going to spend time immersing myself into other peoples' shit, most of which I know is fabricated for views. I still feel this way, more or less. In fact, I have watched just one season of Bigg Boss - season 13, obvi - and have little interest in watching any more. The only reason I would is its essentially a social experiment where we can observe unique individuals in an enclosed environment under pressure and learn about human nature. However, that is not always beneficial seeing as we cannot guarantee the contestants are being their ACTUAL selves.... anyway.... you'll get used to my tangents hahaha...

So, I learned about Sidnaaz after Sidharth's heartbreaking death, and felt instantly connected to him, Sana, and their story. My connection is certainly emotional, but also practical. But, to take it to the beginning: I was on Instagram one day, making a reel to showcase my client (I freelance) and trying to find a song for it, when I came across a slowed and reverbed version of Dil Ko Karaar Aya and fell IN love with it. I immediately went to Youtube and looked it up to add to my growing playlist. I remember seeing Sid and going "hey! That's the dude from Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania!" And then immediately going "Damnnnnn... he got like... really hot!" Hahah! Don't get me wrong, he's always been hot, but his scruffy, manly man vibe in recent years is more my jam over the pretty boy vibe from Humpty days, lol. He was one of those actors for me who's face I knew, but name I didn't. This was about 2 weeks before he died; I must have watched/listened to that song 20 times at least.

And then one day, I check my phone after waking up to news of his death, and am literally jolted out of my sleepiness, like "WHAT?!" I remember having the awareness that my reaction was a bit... extra for an actor who I wouldn't say I was necessarily a "fan" of. But I found myself genuinely heartbroken for him; my heart literally felt heavy in my chest. I remember thinking "but I just found you..." I only felt this level of sadness at the death of a celebrity one time: when Robin Williams died (still can't watch anything he is in; it's too much). I remember obsessively checking news pages and other celebrities pages to confirm that Sid was actually dead. Maybe that's why my Instagram For You page was filled with his photos after that. His, along with a girl... the same girl, again and again. In fact, their reels and photos had been coming up on my For You page for a few days (probably since I had looked him up after I found his song), and I remember thinking "bruh, why is Instagram showing me these videos? I don't even know this girl" (they were the reels from their last appearance, on Dance Deewane). Well, now I clicked on these reels, and that meant my For You page was now flooded with their content (Instagram Algorithm y'all!), including some that showed them in more casual settings (which I later found out was on Bigg Boss). I was glued to my phone, watching their content for DAYS! I did not understand why I was so invested in these two. Now, I realize its because I related to both, particularly Sana, a lot. I relate to Sana's heart and to Sid's brain. I am a sensitive empath like Sana but a decisive practical introvert like Sid. That, and their story. Although not in the same way, mine was certainly not tragic like there's, I also dealt with the sudden loss of a future with someone that I was so afraid of giving in to for fear of my heart being broken, but ultimately gave in to. But that's what empathy is: not needing to have gone through the same thing someone else is going through, but still being able to connect to the emotion they are feeling. I thought I had dealt with my heartbreak, but my buried emotions were triggered by their story, telling me I need to do a lot more work on my own grief than I had thought. So, here I am... and here you guys are too. We're all just trying to process; so why not together?

Now, as I said, my connection is not just emotional, but also practical. While I am drawn to their unique story, my perspective is based ultimately on curiosity. I have always been interested in the way people think, how they developed that way of thinking and finally, how all of that influences the way they behave and interact with the world. It's no secret that the Sidnaaz journey was dramatic, with a lot of ups and downs. I am under no illusion that their story did not have toxic elements to it, in fact, it is their overcoming of these elements that cements them in history as a testament to true love (in my perspective or IMP - you will read this alot in my writings lol). However, I am not interested in judging them, but rather learning about human nature and interpersonal dynamics through them by trying to understand why they did the things they did, and what about them as individuals and a couple sparked this timeless love story. Look, stories like theirs probably happen all over the world, everyday, but when do we ever get the opportunity to observe it - see it, as its happening? This is the "it" factor in their story - we all got to witness it. I for one, do not want to waste this opportunity to learn about human nature.

Now, if it adds any validity to my ramblings, it might be helpful to know I have a bachelors degree in Psychology and Masters Degree in Counseling and Human Development from a university in Virgina, USA. My education included learning about mental health, personality types, personality disorders, human development, interpersonal relationships, among other things. Obviously, I am not going to be diagnosing, or even suggesting any such thing because 1) ethics 2) I literally have no right 3) these are people I have never and will never meet 4) I'm not delusional that my opinion matters lol. However, I think my background had taught me to see people beyond the surface. It has taught me to look at people and events with curiosity rather than judgment. Anyway, as a therapy approach and life approach, I tend to gravitate towards a solution focused mindset. That means, when I look at a situation, along with wanting to know what happened and why, I also want to learn what lead someone to become who they are (as much as we can in situation of course); all in the effort to understand. I don't need to agree or "approve", just understand. You can understand someone/something, and still think it's wrong. In this context, I want to know what led these two very different people to make the choices that they did, rather than judging them for doing it (I will sprinkle in opinions of course, as after all, these are my ramblings lol). I will try my best to take an unbiased, practical, and brave approach to my "analysis". In fact, that is the reason why I ultimately decided to actually watch the whole season. I recognized that the content I was consuming on Instagram was from fan accounts for Sidnaaz, meaning biased content (nothing wrong with that! But it's just true), and I wanted to see them in the context of the big picture, not just a romanticized version of their story where they are the heroes and everyone else the villains. That's just not realistic.

These will be an amalgamation of various things related to Bigg Boss 13, with a focus on Sidnaaz and their story. For example:

Contestant Analysis

Episode Analysis

Specific Events Analysis

Reader Requested Analysis

*Some basic AF illustrations (don't judge hahaha!)

I have also been partaking in some.... fictional writings (lollll) to process my thoughts, which will be mostly time-line accurate, but will obviously be based on my perspective of who I believe Sid and Sana were/are as people and how they would have behaved or received these events. I do not claim to know them, or their story - I have no such delusions. We can never really know someone, not even ourselves, since we are constantly evolving and changing until we eventually die (don't mean that to sound depressing! In fact, I look at it as a blessing because we can change and become better versions of ourselves throughout our lives!). All of this is just an effort to process my own thoughts, feelings, and grief - with some semblance of closure, even if it is fictional. I will probably created a different "book" for the fiction, so as to keep it organized and compartmentalized.

I hope you will join me in this adventure. #Sidnaaz forever

Please comment below with thoughts, suggestions, and requests. What should I start with?

Inna Lilla Hi Wa Inna Ilai Hi Rajaoon

Surely, we belong to Allah, and to Him we shall Return

May Allah Bless Sidharth and his soul. May he rest in peace and be granted the highest rank in Jannat. May Allah Bless his family and Shehnaaz with peace in their souls, love in their hearts, and strength in their minds. InshAllah and Ameen.

xoxo