↳ LIKE REAL PEOPLE DO

🗒 ❛ chapter five ༉‧₊˚✧

"soulmates, huh?"

i blew a cloud of smoke from my lungs, sitting with my legs pulled close to my chest as i sat on the roof of my fathers home, a poorly rolled joint between my fingers. i looked over at the vampire beside me, trying to not scrunch his nose up at my pot smoking. moonlight poured over us like it was spilled from a whine glass, pooling around in a puddle at our indefinite edges.

"so they say," he hums, brushing a finger against the outside of my thigh. his icy touch creates goosebumps on my warm skin. when paired with a cool breeze; i shiver. he means it innocently, and removes his hands once the action is done.

"i feel it," i tell him, "the strings. the webs. almost like veins, pulling. feeling you, always."

i looked up to the sky, inhaling another drag from the joint. there was twice as many stars as usual, twinkling against the dark abyss. it was rare to see something so beautiful back in jacksonville.

"everything always changes so abruptly. i wish time would stop moving," i sighed.

"what do you mean?" he asked.

"one second my sister is alive, the next she's dead. suddenly my thoughts aren't the only ones in my head anymore. i move in with my dad, start a new school. find out that vampires are real and that i'm eternally bound to one that describes his diet of animal blood as vegetarianism. i know that i'm diagnosed as crazy or whatever, but who could blame me," i shrugged.

"i don't think your crazy," edward argued, placing his cold hand over the one that wasn't occupied, "i think it's clear that you've been through a lot. that you've had to grow up fast. that would make anyone feel crazy. and discovering that monsters are real in a world that lives in denial of the truth? it's completely understandable to feel that way. though to be fair, i think you're handling it pretty well."

i turned my attention back to him, his honey irised eyes staring so sincerely into mine. i wondered if i would ever get over how beautiful he was. i didn't expect to fall in love when i woke up this morning. was that what this was? surely it must've been. what else makes a soulmate but love? why else would every atom that made me up hum when he was near? i had never felt like this before . . . like i was almost complete. almost, not quite, but so close.

i leaned in, closing my eyes and pressing my lips against his. he froze, his lips unmoving. i pulled back, wide eyed and embarrassed.

"i-i'm sorry," i shook my head, "i shouldn't have done that. i don't know why i did that. you should go, i need to get ready for bed."

i didn't dare look at him. i was full of a heavy shame. of course he wouldn't want to kiss me yet, we'd known each other for a day. our souls might be intertwined, but we were strangers.

"wait, violet—"

i stubbed out the remainder of my j and climbed in through my window, only averting my eyes back in its direction quick enough to have it slam down and lock at the will of my mind. i wasn't worried about the noise as charlie was on a night shift, but still winced at the loud bang. i flicked my eyes at my curtains, pushing them together; blocking out the moon and her child of the night. my soulmate.

i took a deep breath and began pacing my room, trying to collect myself before i sent myself into total combustion as my fingers rubbed at my necklace with bella's ashes. i was so tired of it all. a sob escaped me, a war cry howling for normalcy rippling out of my throat. i ran a hand through my hair, chest heaving.

i thought about what i could do to calm myself down. the good thing was that i was already stoned, so i was already doing better than what i could've been. if it wasn't for the fact that i had to be conservative with my supply until i could get down to la push this weekend, i would smoke more. but i couldn't. instead, i found myself sitting on my bed, surrounded by black velour sheets, with my laptop open and playing monster house, a comfort movie from my childhood. i was only half paying attention, more preoccupied with what i was curating on the wall by my bed in white chalk. a portrait of a two headed lamb, though one of the heads was decaying.