legends never die || josh kiszka

28

Lorelei

After a long night of deliberating, Anastasia and I came to an agreement - we are not seeing our families in Philadelphia.

Sam thought that was the wrong decision, that I'd be eaten up by regret for the rest of the tour. He tried to convince me to change my mind while we smoked on the roof of the hotel in New York, something we'd been doing every night.

Ultimately, he knew he couldn't change my mind, and he dropped it.

Josh, on the other hand, was very supportive of that decision and hadn't pressed any further.

I was unsure of my decision, of course, but we couldn't change our minds anyway - Keagan had already arranged for our answer. It was late - about two in the morning - when he'd finalized our stay in Philadelphia. We were to leave at eight the next morning and arrive in Philly by ten, barring any possible complications. Anastasia as unsure, too, but she knew that if one of us didn't want to, neither would the other. I had come to terms with her way of thinking about it and didn't bother to argue about it anymore.

The drive there was excruciatingly uncomfortable. Anastasia and I were both anxious, not bothering to even try to get some sleep, sleep that we really needed. Not only were my nightmares recurring, but hers came back for the first time in over a year. According to Anastasia, it scared the hell out of Jake.

The guys were on edge, too, not wanting to say anything to trigger the bitchiness that resided within our moodiness created by stress, so they pretty much stayed silent the entire way, except for Sam, which was so obviously weird. Was he trying to get Keagan's attention?

By the time we arrived to the hotel, Keagan had allotted us some time by ourselves to just walk around the city and reminisce. Anastasia and I had talked about the possibility of seeing Pastor Jacob while we were in town, maybe even today if he wasn't busy. He has to know that we're visiting our home town. Anastasia and I are dying to know what our parents have been up to, just without asking them ourselves.

We planned on seeing a few personal landmarks - our old schools, the Museum of Art, a few local restaurants that we love - just sightseeing, really, without the 'wow factor' associated with it, since we, you know, lived here for half our lives. We were going to do all of these things - it was just the matter of when.

Just like our last two stops, Keagan planned to be here for a week unless we needed to leave early. This time, unlike the last two, it wasn't for relaxation or business sake - it was for Anastasia and I's sake. The show is right in the middle - the day after tomorrow - and then we'll either leave three days after or the next day, whichever we prefer.

So here I lay, in Josh's bed with zero clothes on, pressed against his chest with his hand in my hair, drawing soothing shapes into my back with his other. It was relaxing, something he knew I needed. My nerves have been terrible, and I just needed him - preferably in more ways than just one.

The warmth of his naked body calmed me and I tried to match the evenness of his breath, my wet hair draped across my shoulders. We'd just gotten out of the shower where he had washed my hair and body for me while I stood completely still, completely emotionally unavailable. I felt better, thanks to him, and my emotional battery had recharged at least halfway.

Josh carried me straight to bed after drying me off, no clothes, no combed hair, nothing. He hadn't spoken a word, either - just comfortable silence until I was ready to say something, anything.

His heartbeat was the most calming, the even, steady rhythm entrancing me as my head lay directly above it, eyes closed and clutching a fistful of the snow-white sheets.