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Lorelei

Fear.

Sadness.

Anxiety.

All of the emotions I felt while I watched Josh and the other three of my best friends digest what I had just told them.

Sam was terrible at acting. I told him to act surprised, just as shocked as everyone else, but he must've fucking forgotten because he didn't look phased in the slighted. If I could reach my foot far enough under the table, I'd have kicked him by now.

Silence.

The lawyer took out his manila envelope and opened it, spilling the contents onto the table. There were two pictures of me - a few months before and about a year after the first initial surgery.

He slid them across the table and Josh was the first to collect them, placing them side by side.

I was going through my brown hair phase at that point - I was seventeen, waiting for Anastasia to finally come back to save me from my own personal hell

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I was going through my brown hair phase at that point - I was seventeen, waiting for Anastasia to finally come back to save me from my own personal hell.

I was going through my brown hair phase at that point - I was seventeen, waiting for Anastasia to finally come back to save me from my own personal hell

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

I remember the day we took the second one - the scars had finally healed and we'd just met Keagan. He wanted to take a picture to compare it with the first one. I specifically remember him telling me the valley between my nose and my lips was identical, and my nose still kind of looked like my nose with some of the swelling from my latest surgery. I decided to continue with the brown hair, knowing i'd look less like 'Leslie' than if I let my dirty blonde grow out.

Josh was stunned. I mean, speechless. His face expressed so many emotions at once and I was terrified for him to actually speak.

I was already heartbroken enough from last nights events - could I really handle him leaving me at such a devastating point in my life?

"Josh," I croaked, and he just barely glanced my direction. His mouth was slightly agape and he switched his gaze from me to his band, looking for some kind of guidance. I was shaking, tears warm as they wet my face, begging for some kind of assurance from my lover that things would be okay. 

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