you were good to me ❃

goodbye

long chapter ahead

——

‘does this look good on me? ’

you asked while wearing the necklace i got you on our first date, by the river.

‘you look beautiful. you should wear it often. ’ i replied, while looking at you with the fondest smile.

you laughed and looked away to cover your flustered face. i leaned my head on your shoulder while humming a soft tone.

‘i should've got you something to.. but i forgot. i was in a big hurry. im so sorry, gyu.. ’

i chuckled. ‘you don't have to! we're here together and that's enough already. i dont need anything else. ’

i laid down on the grass and you followed, our hands intertwined soon after. the warmth of your hands made me feel comfortable and loved.

i wish we could stay here, like this, forever.

you're the best thing that happened to me.

‘here. ’

you scooted closer and i wrapped my arms around you. after a few minutes, i heard your soft snores. the two of us laid under a tree, cold spring breeze brushing past our faces as cherry blossoms rained on top of us.

the spring of 2020, it brought me pure happiness.

spring passed, now cold winter spread all round.

the cherry blossom tree we both spent our first date under was empty of all blossoms; not a single petal to be seen.

it wasn't happy, euphoric nor ethereal anymore.

cold, grey and dull.

i stood there alone, hands inside the pockets of my cardigan as i thought of our past.

december 12, 2021.

5 months after our break up, or shall i say when you left abruptly?

till today, i still wish for an answer.

im still hoping for you to come back.

i hate this.. it's too cold here. won't you come and hug me anymore? are the days of cuddling and warm hugs over?

i just wanna be happier, happier with you.

“Excuse me mister, but you're covered with snow- Beomgyu? ”

i sharply turned around after hearing the voice I've been longing to hear all these months. there you stood, staring at me with blank eyes.

it felt like my heart broke, but it felt warm again when i noticed you were still wearing my sweater i gave you back then.

warm tears filled my eyes and they were flowing freely soon after. i smiled the brightest i ever have and held your hand.

“how are you? i missed you so much. please, don't go like that again. im scared of losing you. are you doing well? oh, i missed you so badly. there wasn't a single day where i-”

“beomgyu. ”

you took my hands off yours and took a step back.

“yes, my sunshine? ”

“ don't call me that. ”

i sniffed. “ but that's the name you told me you liked the most. ”