Chapter 5 - Part 1

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"How are you and Myles doing?" Karsyn asked, taking a seat beside Jessica on her sofa.

She studied him. "I thought he would have told you."

He shook his head. "You are off limits to him."

That was surprising. She had expected them to have spoken about it and the fact that Myles didn't made her feel like he wasn't completely comfortable with it. Did he still somehow feel insecure when it came to her and Karsyn?

"There isn't much to talk about." She didn't feel completely comfortable talking about all the aspects of what was going on with his younger brother.

"I thought you guys would have made it official already." He studied her, and she shifted uncomfortably.

"It's not that easy. We have to work through some stuff." The truth was she was the one who had to work through some stuff, there was nothing holding Myles back.

"I was wrong." He sat up straighter, his eyes downcast.

"About what?" He wasn't making much sense.

"When I said he would break your heart." He ran a hand through his hair. "I wanted to believe it was as basic as sex..." His eyes found hers. "But I can see it's more...much more."

She didn't know how that made her feel. It didn't change her indecisions, her second guessing, wondering if she was making a mistake or not. The only thing she felt sure of was her feelings for Myles. She loved him, that wasn't something she could question or second guess. But the cold hard truth was Myles didn't love her, and what if he couldn't?

There was no surety even in relationships where both partners were head-over-heels in love, so what chance did they have? The odds didn't look good at all. But none of the logical reasoning changed how she still felt about him.

She chewed her lip gently. "I love him." She watched his expression.

He smiled but there was only sadness in his eyes. "There was a time I thought we would be forever." He let out an emotional breath. "And then..."

She reached out and covered his hand with hers. "I don't want to hurt you."

No matter how he had treated her or what had happened in the past, she didn't want to hurt him.

"I only have myself to blame," he said as his other hand covered hers, enveloping her hand in his. "If I had handled things better, we wouldn't be here like this."

His eyes held hers, hypnotic. They held the memories of her first love, the first boy to own her heart.

"Where would we be?" she whispered, giving in to the curiosity of what if.

"We'd still be together, still in love, making plans for the future." He looked at her wistfully.

"Future?" she prompted.

He pressed his lips together as if debating his next words. "Even though we were young, I was very sure about how I felt about you. If things hadn't changed, I would have asked you to marry me."

Her eyes widened. "Really?"

He nodded.

But no matter how much they had cared for each other or what their plans had been, Dylan's death had derailed that and sent them off in different directions. Their past had no place in their future.

She cared deeply for him, but she loved Myles. She pulled her hand from his clasp. "I'm sorry, Karsyn."

He shrugged. "Me too." His eyes lingered on her.

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