Chapter 5 - Part 2

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Jessica was tipsy and feeling lighter than she had all day. She knew alcohol was only a temporary fix, but she just wanted to enjoy the moment.

"I knew you would have fun," Hannah said, giving her a slight jab with her elbow into her side.

"You're right." This is what she had needed after a heavy session with the therapist.

"Come on, let's dance." Hannah pulled her by the hand onto the busy dance floor.

The music flowed through her, and she swung her hips in time with the beat. Hannah had her hands in the air, looking like she was having a blast.

Sweat trickled down her top and she was working her way up to her next drink. Her friend smiled as they danced. Her carefree happiness rubbed off on her and she closed her eyes and allowed the music to block out everything else.

There was no past, no future, just now. Right now. Her shoulders were lighter from the weight of guilt, her heart free from grief.

And there was only one person on her mind. Myles.

She wanted to see him more than anything, so after Hannah dropped her off at her place, she called a taxi. She dared not drive after drinking so much.

The taxi dropped her off outside Myles' house and she smiled happily as she followed the path to the front door, imagining how he would look as he opened it. He would pull her inside and kiss her just the way she wanted right now.

He would take her to bed, and her pulse quickened at the thought. The anticipation made her heart race.

She knocked on the door and waited but there was no rustle of movement from inside. A secret smile still held her lips in place as she continued to wait.

After about a minute, she knocked again. Maybe he was in a very deep sleep. Her smile began to wane.

But one moment became two and then another minute passed. She frowned and got her phone out to check the time. It was two in the morning. Where was he if he wasn't home?

Disappointment gave way to something else entirely as her mind raced through the possibilities of where he could be.

He could be out with his friends. It wasn't like she expected him to stay at home every night waiting for the possibility of her showing up at odd hours of the night for an intimate liaison. But as her mind raced, other possibilities began to occur to her. What if he was with someone else?

The thought winded her and she pressed her hand to her chest to help her suck in her next breath. Someone else. What if she had taken too long, like Hannah said? What if he had found another girl? The pain in her chest grew. An image of the girl he worked with settled in her mind and she couldn't think of anything else. Could he be with her?

She backed away from the door, struggling with her imagination as she stumbled slightly in her high heels. In her mind, it wasn't her between the sheets with Myles. No, this time when she thought about Myles, he was in bed with the pretty girl with the pixie haircut.

As much as she tried to assure herself that he still cared for her, and that he wouldn't just go off with someone else, she couldn't shake the fact that he wasn't at home at two in the morning when most people would be home from a night out.

She sat down on the steps in front of the house and pulled out her phone. She could call a taxi and just go home to deal with this later, but she found herself searching for Myles' number. Her finger hovered over the call button for a few seconds before she called him.

It rang and rang. She held her breath as she waited. When it clicked over to voicemail, she felt more despondent.

He could have stayed over at Joe's? She tried to reason with herself, but it was difficult to stop her mind from running wild with the possibility that he had moved on. Could she blame him? The truth was she couldn't.

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