forever [nbxg]

thirteen

this chapter gives me "hold on" vibes. soo, maybe listen to it while reading that chapter.

hold on - chord overstreet

Daya's view

My stomach turned at the sight of Elliya.

Oh yes, it took way too long.

She was laying on the floor, in a pile of blood.

I fell on my knees, my vision getting blurry. I pulled her in, checking her pulse.

Nothing.

"Please don't. Please. Don't leave me", I whispered over again, holding onto her while fumbling for my phone.

When I got it, I dialled 999.

I think I never cried more in my entire life. Luckily the instructor understood me anyway.

They got here about 10 minutes later.

One of them held me, while the other two took care of Elliya.

"Do you want to come with us, or stay here?", the woman asked, I answered with a nod.

"Come with us?", she asked again. I nodded.

***

Once in the hospital they seperated me from her. I held her cold hand the whole drive and refused to let go of her.

When we were there, it took two people to convince me to let go of her hand. After a while, which felt like hours, I let go and broke down on the ground. I laid there, curled up into a ball, crying, screaming, shaking, sobbing.

I didn't give a fuck about what people would think. I could feel the nasty looks, but I didn't care.

At some time they put me into a hospital room, where I slept in.

I think I even cried in my sleep.

When I woke up later, they asked me about family members of hers and mine.

I filled out the formular they gave me and asked where Elliya is now, they told me, but I wasn't allowed to go there.

My heart hurt. My head hurt. Everything hurt. It felt like I'm going to collapse on the ground any time.

While sitting down on one of the many chairs there, I dialled my mum's number.

"Daya", she exclaimed happily.

"Mum? Can you... can you get me, please?", I asked quietly.

"Are you okay, Daya? Where should I pick you up?",my mum asked.

I told her the adress of the hospital and that I'll tell her when she was here.

I went outside, sitting down there. When mum pulled up after about 20 minutes, I got in the car and put on my seatbelt.

She didn't drive off yet. "What happened? Are you alright?", she asked once again.

And again I began to cry. I didn't even know how I still had tears left.

"Elliya, she...", I began, letting out a shaky breath.

Mum just put her hand on my arm, trying to comfort me without saying anything.

"She's dead", I whispered, now that I said it I knew it was true. It wasn't a dream. Elliya was dead. And I couldn't do anything anymore.

Shit, the realisation hit me like a train.

I would never hear her beautiful voice again. I would never look into her pretty eyes again, won't be able to watch her read again, admire her while she slept. So peaceful and relaxed.

And now I sat in my mum's car, crying my eyes out again and mum sitting next to me, also starting to cry.

"Do you want to come home?", she asked after a while, pressing my arm twice.

I nodded. "Yes. But I need to... grab my stuff and... I want to... maybe take a tee from her", I said in between sobs.

"I'll drive you there", she offered, and I agreed. The drive wasn't uncomfortable silent, we just didn't talk and I was thankful for that.

When we got to our apartment I asked mum to stay in the car and took out my key to open the door.

The door swung open and the situation hit me once again.

I took a deep breath and made my way upstairs to our bedroom, trying to ignore the mess in and in front of the bathroom.

In the bedroom, which was a mess too, I pulled out the suitcase from under the bed and began stuffing clothes. Some of them mine, more of them Elliya's.

I knew that this won't help me with letting go of her. But honestly, I didn't want to let go. Not yet. Never.

When I was making the bed -it looked too messy, or maybe I was just trying to distract myself- I found a piece of paper tucked under her pillow.

I pulled it out. On it, the letter was folded, was written I'm sorry in small letters.