Codename: Wonder

10: Silent Cry

The place is dark, the warm sea breeze is hitting Wish's skin. James is sleeping just a few inches away from her. Nothing made sound except for the waves hitting the shore.

She decided to go out for a walk. Wala siyang ideya kung anong oras na. Pero maliwanag ang buwan kaya ayos lang lumabas.

She just stared at the sea. The waters are sparkling due to the beautiful light of the moon. The winds calms her mind. The waves are just too gentle and soft. Hindi katulad ng puso niyang hindi na yata titigil sa pagkabog.

Her mind is restless, her heart is full. She bit her lower lip and tried to suppress the emotions growing from within. May masakit. Mainit. Isang bagay na matagal nang nandoon pero ngayon niya lang napansin.

She started to cry silently. Tears are streaming down her face. She's crying harder than ever before. May kumakatok sa puso niya pero natatakot siyang pagbuksan kung sino o ano man iyon. She just wanted things to stay as they are. It's a lot easier. No rules. Just her and the status quo.

But the doctor confused the hell out of her. He wrecked pieces of her truths. He wrecked her views of the world. He wrecked her views of people. The spark in his eyes makes her want to find way to escape her own realities. The smile on his lips makes her want to doubt who she is. He makes her doubt her entirety.

When she believed all people are the same, he proved her wrong. When she believed all people are selfish, he proved her wrong. When she believed that she's already abandoned, he proved her wrong. When she believed that everyone would just treat her as a complete trash, he proved her wrong.

The list goes on and it's breaking her. For years, her so-called truths had been her anchors for living. Confident siyang tumapos ng mga tao dahil iniisip niyang masahol pa sila sa basura. Na deserve nila ang kamatayan.

But the doctor just made her doubt what she made of herself.

Napaluhod siya sa buhangin. She stared at her hands and realized how filthy they are. The path she chose to take would only lead her to misery and nothingness. Or maybe to a worse place of hell. Where there is nothing but pure torment.

"Mama, natatakot ako."

Like a five-year old girl she once was, she called to her mother. It was her mom's death that brought her to who she is now. It was her death that made her doubt the Lord. It was her death that froze her heart and drained her soul.

Wish just cried and cried. She's got no plans of stopping. Sa loob ng dalawang taon, pilit niyang itinago sa puso niya ang sakit na iyon. She hid under the pretense that she doesn't care anymore. That she wants to have nothing to do with the past. That she had forgotten the woman who taught her to believe in the light even if the place is dark. The same woman who taught her that prayer drives monsters away.

And maybe she's right. Because after she stopped praying, demons started to grow, not beside her, but inside of her. That's the scary part.

Her eyes flew to the rock formation. It was high. Probably around thirty feet. Wish started to walk, tears just streaming down her face. Napapagod na siya. At hindi na niya kayang lumaban pa.

Her hands had been stained with blood. They might not be innocent, but she's not innocent either. She's no different from all of them.

She is beyond redemption. What she did cannot be cleansed by anything anymore. She's done and she has made up her mind. The fight is over and she lost.

She climbed up to the very top of the rock, ignoring the pain of her sprain. She stood on the edge and looked down. The landing would be severely painful because of the big rocks there. But the pain would only last for a few minutes.