To be dead before you die

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Here it is.
not a crossroad, but an execution.
It's been a long time coming.
Everything I've done has always felt final
but this, this is really final.
Maybe I should've expected it.
Maybe I should've listened to the warning signs.
But I always thought I'd have more time.
I just wish I didn't have to choose.
I wish I could either be good or bad
and there was no room to change.
I wish I didn't have a chance.
Chances mean hope and hope eventually
leads to disappoint.
Whether that's in me, or You, or someone else,
I wouldn't know.
And I'm tired of not knowing.
Im tired of not knowing.
So here is my final choice,
one where I won't have to choose
anything anymore.
I'll be free of choices, chances, the good and the bad.
Here it is, hope and disappointment.

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