I can see you | ~L.S.

I'm dreaming

...suddenly the doorbell rang.

I was annoyed, I'm still not in the mood to talk to anyone, probably it's just mom because I didn't picked up. Listless and annoyed I got up and make my way to the front door. I try to see who's out there through my window when all I see is, is nothing?
Funny, probably the neighbor kids want to have some fun and prank me, how funny, I laughed so hard.

I started getting more annoyed, and groaned that I even were close to open the door. I got away and make my way into the kitchen to make some tea, which I definitely gonna need, because I feel my tears building up again. I'm in the kitchen searching for the tea I like when the doorbell rings again, I won't open that fucking door go away, it's not funny. I was thinking to myself and keep searching for my tea when I was about to get the tea out, it's ringing again.
If those kids are happy when I open the door, I was thinking to myself but what if mom is out there and just got something while I was looking outside. I was annoyed not expecting anything I thought if I go and act like it's mom both ways would be fine, the kids would say prank and laugh that I thought mom would be there and if mom is there well yeah then she'll be happy that I knew it was her. I'm already standing in front of the door when I open it I got behind the door and start speaking "come in mom": I said not getting some response neither mom is coming in and thanking me. Nothing, when someone's speaking up I've never expected, but I'd recognise this voice everywhere. "If I'd be anne I'd say fank ya, but sorry to disappoint ya it's just mey" he says, I got out behind the door looking right into those eyes I fell for years ago, I'm dreaming, it's a dream it can't be true.
„Nah no harry ya aren't dreaming it's mey" he says giggling, what? did I just said that out loud.
"yes ya did, well I don't wanna be annoying but can I come in, it's freakin' cold outside" he says again, I said nothing just got to the side so he can get in. He thanked me and got inside just now I noticed his backpack in his hands, what is he doing? he wants to live here or what?
"Well yah I know it's stupid to ask ya but I just got ya who's in london"
He says, I really need to stop thinking and talk out loud what it is.
"What about niall or liam?"

"called them, got no time"

"So what do you want?" I said getting annoyed, I'm mad at him sure I missed him I still love him but I won't just act like nothing happened and hug him kissing him, he won't get me that easy.

"Woaw calm down don't get mad already, I'm in problems and I wish I don't have to ask ya for a room, it's not like you were my first option"

"I've never was your first option"

"you exactly know I've never wanted to leave you"
Those fucking words, again he said it again and it hurts, it just hurts I turn around so he doesn't see my tears which are building again.

"I wanted to make some tea before you got here" I said with a shaking voice but try to sound not effected, I'm sure he noticed but doesn't say anything, I made my way to the kitchen when I can feel he's following me.

"What tea is it?" he asks me. why would he care? he doesn't care about it, why would he care what I am doing?

"Green tea"
I answered, I know he doesn't like it how bad, we can't have just a simple tea together,I'd have loved to have some tea with him.

"can I also have some?" he asked me, he's joking I can exactly remember how often he said he hates it, he can't be serious. I was turning around looking at him, when I was about to speak up he was first.
"Harry? Are ya alright?" he says fuck he can see my tears, how stupid are you, I turn around again hoping he'll just leave it like that.
"You never liked Green Tea"
I said trying to distract from the main thing.
"Well much change, two years is a long time"

"it definitely is" I said wiping my tears away which were the last, I actually managed it to stop crying even tho my eyes are probably still red.
I turn around to look at louis, already sitting on my table waiting for his tea, I put it down before him when he just looks down.
I sit down straight ahead, try to get his attention while hitting my spoon against the cup.
he finally looks up with a sad expression when I can see his mouth moving starting to talk.

"Well you probably wonder why I'm here."

"I actually do yeah"

"As I said I never wanted to ask you but nialler and liam didn't got time so you were the last option, I got back to london because of my job we had a new client there zayn stayed in LA so I was alone, I thought I wouldn't stay that long just for one day so I didn't booked any hotel, when I realised it'll take longer and tried to find a room every hotel near by got no rooms left, it's freakin' cold outside and well I need a place to stay, you're the only option I got" he said trying to avoid my eyes, I said nothing so he finally looks at me I wanted to speak up when he spoke again
"before you say anything, I promise I won't stay long I know you probably see me as some ass or whatever, I also never wanted to ask you or thought I'd see you ever again, but I'm here now and I ask you that as a friend. It was shit what happened, and I never wanted to hurt you, I'm sorry for everything but please don't let me down, it's just for a few days I promise." he said looking at me all the time, I can see guilt in his eyes when he wanted to speak again I stopped him asking "friends?" I couldn't believe he called us friends after all what happened.

"Yeah, friends. I want you as a friend harry, I need you as a friend." he said again but this time looking away again.

I got up looking at him with anger "fucking friends? how dare you calling us friends after all what happened. We were much more than that and you know that, I could never be your fucking friend because I still love you. you came around expecting me to just be friends and act like nothing happened?? I'm hurt louis you hurt me I'm still in love with you and you let me down. now you ask me not to let you down?! who do you think you are??" I said full of anger, my tears are close to build again.

"I'm sorry harry! Don't you understand it?? I'm hurt as well but all I'm asking you is for a room for two or three days, just please I got nothing left, please I beg you" he says, I can hear help in his voice, I hate him, I hate him for being who he is, I hate that I still love him and that I can't just stop caring, he can't stay outside it's really cold it's winter, you have to keep him harry, few days are better than nothing even tho it makes you sad. I was thinking to myself while watching him playing with his spoon which is swimming in his tea.

"Alright two or three days, not more, you can have the guest room." I say, my voice stronger than I expected.

"Thank you harry, thank you so much you're a good friend"
FRIEND again just a friend, he acts like we never were more like friends I don't want to see him anymore so I got up just mumbling 'yeah' when I make my way upstairs, the tea in my right hand and my left one on the bannister.

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