I can see you | ~L.S.

Just one kiss

I got out of my thoughts when I can feel soft small lips pressed against mine, I didn't felt for years.

He is kissing me, he can't kiss me, I hate him, hate the feeling of butterflies going wild just when he touches me. I don't want that.
I didn't kiss back that's why he pulled away he's looking at me with an questioning impression.
He can't just fucking kiss me, he can't just act like nothing happened and expect me to kiss him back.

I see him about to speak up when all I think about is hurting him the way he hurt me, that's when I find myself hitting with all my anger and sadness against his cheek.

He immediately lift his hand putting it against his cheek to hold it, I can see how his skin turns red under his hand he got tears in his eyes just looking at me shocked.
I tried my best to look at him
in anger to show him he can't play with me like that.

"What was that for?!?" he asks me, his eyes getting darker, I can see he's angry but all I can do is to turn away and make my way back into bed. I was just about to go upstairs when someone stops me by holding my wrist. I turn around to see louis still looking at me but this time with tears running down his face.
'H-Harry' I hear him whisper under his sobbing when I try to be cold push his hand away and make my way upstairs into my room.

_

I got woken up when I hear someone's knocking at my door.
I groan I don't want to stand up.
I said nothing just put my head under my pillow to ignore the person who's standing in front of my bedroom door.

I was just about to fall asleep again when I hear my door open and footsteps coming towards me.

I try to pretend being asleep so I don't have to talk with him he's annoying and I hate him I need to hate him.
I can feel him sitting down on my bed right next to my feet,
I couldn't pretend anymore and just groaned again throwing the pillow away and looking at louis with tired and annoyed eyes.

He's looking down into his lap where he's playing with his fingers, he doesn't look at me just keep staring at his hands on his lap. he's sitting on my blanket I was annoyed and angry at him and I want him to see that. So I pulled on my blanket to get him off he immediately reacted and stood up mumbling quiet 'sorry'.
I say nothing I don't know louis like that sure he gets quiet and kind of shy when he feels guilty put that's very rarely.

I was still in my thoughts when I noticed I'm just in my boxers I pulled my blanket over my whole body so he just sees my head, sure it's stupid we had sex many times but that doesn't mean he can see me half naked also we broke up and we're just friends like he wanted to be.

"We have to talk" he said after being quiet. He finally looks up right into my eyes, he looks like shit like literally shit, he got big eye rings and he looks like he cried all night long. It hurts me to see him like that but I don't understand what his problem is he broke up, he left me.

"Well I don't think so" I said standing up still the blanket wrapped around me, making my way to my door so I can take a shower in the bathroom.
"I've seen you naked before you do remember that" I could never forget that "Well we broke up and I like to have privacy" I said trying to make my way to the hallway he stopped me when he spoke up again.

"Stop running away from all your problems!" he said with an harsh voice, I turn around, he tells me I run away??? He's kidding me
"Me? I'm running away?! Who left me? who broke the contact? who left me without any other call? without talking?? You fucking run away all the time you have a problem you run away, you're so weak you always run away it's not me!! ITS FUCKING YOU!!" I said full of anger, everything that ever happened it's always my fault always.

He just keep looking at me when he spoke up.
"You don know what I went through, I've never left you!!
I had to protect you!! I left because I love you! fuck just finally understand that I never wanted to leave" he said.
"but you did, you left me alone and come around after two fucking years to expect me to take you back? I'm hurt you hurt me"
I said glancing at him with tears filling my eyes, I got enough and make my way to the bathroom. I'm closing the door and let out the breath I didn't knew I was holding, with shaking hands and blurred few I made my way to the sink to lean on it. I hold myself up and look into the mirror, I want to forget him, I want to stop loving him, I want him to leave, I want to be alone again, I-I want the past back.
I was thinking to myself looking at myself crying in the mirror, I'm mad at him, at me, at everyone I just want back what we had.
I turned away to pull down my boxer and make my way into the shower to wash away all my thoughts.

I finished I got some towel so I can make my way back into my room.
I get some grey sweatpants and an old t-shirt, I dry my hair a bit and so I made my way downstairs to make some breakfast.
when I enter the kitchen I can see louis standing there, It looks like he tries to cook something.
Immediately I run towards him and got him away from the oven, he's an horrible cook, and I really want to keep my kitchen.
"God Louis no"

"Excuse me?" he said shocked and lifting his hands.

"Just don't touch my kitchen or did you forget what happened to our last kitchen?"

"well it didn't burn down completely" he said, a smirk playing on his lips.
I look at him remember how he burned our kitchen just by making some scrabbled eggs. I start smiling and shaking my head thinking how clumsy and stupid
he sometimes is. We laugh at each other for a while when I got back to reality.

I turn around looking at the oven "I'll make some breakfast" I said getting started to make some pancakes. he thanked me with an huge grin and hopped on the counters to watch me making some pancakes.

"I remember when you tried to learn me how to do this" he said looking at my hands.
"do what?"
"pancakes" he said now looking at my face smiling again, I hate when he smiles like that he always gets me to smile at him as well. that's what I did I stopped mixing, still looking at his face. He looks so happy so free, it hurts me to see him like that without me.

I have to understand that he'll never feel what I feel, he'll never be as hurt as I am, and this hurts even more. I got out of my thoughts when I see louis' finger in front of my face, without realising what he's going to do. he put it on my nose and just now I noticed he got some dough on it.
that gets me back in time and I just start smiling starting to lean closer, he looks at me with an questioning look but his impressions changes when he feels my hands on his sides tickling him.

He starts laughing and is trying to catch his breath I didn't stop just keep smiling and tickling him,
when he got down back on the ground I didn't expect that so I stopped but he just grinned at me showing me his childish side.
I know he wants me to catch him so I immediately try to reach for him but he started running away, I follow him when he runs into the living room.

He's still grinning and is standing behind my coach when I run right towards him but he gets his way in front of it so I run again right to him when he was behind the sofa again.
We smile at each other
"You won't catch me harry" he said still smirking. "oh really?" I said with that I act like start running, he started running and I grabbed him on his waist when he loses his balance and fell down on my coach me right after him landing on him.
He starts laughing loud and I just had to join when he stops laughing and I noticed in what situation we're right now. I want to stand up when he wraps his arms around my neck to keep me down, I was looking right into his blue eyes, those beautiful eyes. I can feel how he tries to get me closer, Just one kiss, it won't hurt you, just one more kiss. I was thinking to myself not even noticing how I leaned in closer and closer till our lips touch again and my mind went blank.