five

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»Missing you is the hardest thing I've got to deal with everyday." -Grace Shoupe

Shocked and frozen, I sat on my bed. A cold shiver ran down my back. Goosebumps formed all over my skin. My eyes filled with water and it didn't take long as the first tears ran down my cheeks and sporadically dripped onto the postcard.

Carefully I wiped the drop with my sleeve from the postcard, so that the ink of the pen, the written words would not make illegible.

As if anchored, I sat there feeling completely frozen. He held that letter in his hand and wrote every single word.

I bit my lips to suppress a sob that wanted to escape my throat. For the first time since he left the island, I felt this pain, this emptiness he left behind.

I threw myself with my body on the mattress and pressed the card firmly to my chest. Tears streamed down my temples.

For minutes I stared at the sticky stars that glowed in the dark and had hung from the ceiling since I was a child.

Suddenly a thought popped into my head. What if it wasn't him at all? What if the police from outer banks suspected that I knew about what Rafe was doing?
But I immediately dismissed that thought when I looked at the writing again.

It was really the writing of Rafe.
He really wrote to me.
He was thinking about me.

A shrill sound brought me out of my thoughts and I jolted up and looked for my cell phone, which I subsequently found on my desk.
I turned the phone on and saw a picture of me and Rafe on my lock screen.

Briefly I grinned while still crying and unlocked my phone to reply to the message I got.

JJ: open the door

I read the message and a moment later I heard a dull knock on the front door. I quickly wiped away my tears with the sleeves of my sweater and then the door to my room opened.

Wide-eyed, I looked into JJ's deep blue eyes. "How did you get in?" I asked, confused, and in response I got the key held up to my face, which was smeared with dirt.
"The key was in the flower box on the windowsill" he said, looking almost as if he was surprised I didn't know about it.

"Oh yeah, yeah right" I laughed incredulously and followed JJ's movements as he flung himself onto my bed with gusto.

Silence fell. My head was still full of what had just happened. I didn't know what to do or if I should do anything at all. Should I try to find the sender of the postcard to maybe contact Rafe?

Nervously, I bit the inside of my cheek and tapped my fingers on the table.
"What do you have there?" the blond mop of hair asked me, sitting up straight while his gaze was fixed on the postcard.

"Nothing" I lied and within a few seconds opened one of the two drawers of my desk and let the postcard from Rafe disappear there.
With a shove of my hip against the drawer, I slid it closed and walked over to JJ and sat with him on my bed.

"What can I do for you?" I tried to get my mind off Rafe.
Without realizing it, I suddenly got so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even realize JJ was talking to me.

"Huh?" I rubbed my eyes and looked at JJ curiously.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked me with his eyebrows drawn together.
"It's all good" I said slowly, grinning nervously.

Suddenly JJ stood jerkily from the bed and before I could even react he walked over to the desk, opened the drawer and pulled out the postcard.
"Hey!" I said angrily and got up from the bed to snatch the postcard out of his hand.

"Tell me why this postcard is so important to you" JJ said through clenched teeth and stared into my eyes.
With his look you could immediately tell how tense he was.
"It's nothing, okay?" with every word I got more nervous and tried on ten-pointers to get to the card, which he held in the air with his arm outstretched. To no avail!

"It's him, am I right?" guessed JJ and I went quiet. Just the mention of Rafe embarrassed me and it proved quite difficult to get a sensible sentence off my lips.
"Tell me that's not Rafe's" JJ repeated his words.

"GRACE" he yelled and I winced.
I looked deep into his eyes as he bit his lower lip.
I took a step closer until I felt his breath on my skin and the tips of our noses were almost touching.

"Fuck you" I whispered and with one attempt I managed to snatch the postcard out of his hand.
I walked backwards a few steps to put distance between us. With my arms crossed, I stood on the other side of my bed and looked around my room uncertainly.

It was quiet. Nothing could be heard except the light patter of raindrops on the roof. "I think you should go now JJ" I mumbled, biting the inside of my cheek.

JJ took off his red and blue cap and nodded hesitantly before turning the doorknob and leaving the room without comment. A moment later, I heard the front door slam into the lock and I was able to drop onto my bed with peace of mind.

Again I stared at the stars on my ceiling and for a moment I let myself forget everything that had happened so far and just now, remembering back to that one night of me and Rafe.

Flashback:
"You're so hot, you know that?" said Rafe, who was lying next to me on the beach with his head propped up on the side of his hand.

"I don't know, you never told me" I provoked his compliment and continued to stare at the sky even though I could feel Rafe's gaze all over my body.

It was one of those evenings when Rafe and I met at the beach in the evening and went into the water until the sun disappeared behind the horizon and slowly the stars appeared.

"I may never tell you but I'll show you" he said in his raspy voice and I smirked inwardly. Suddenly I felt his cold fingers on my skin, running the band of my bikini top long.

"Do you want me to show you?" he whispered.
„How?" I asked.
„Let me kiss you" he murmured against my lips before they melted together and before I could answer, I felt his cold fingers running along my bare stomach.
His hand pressed my hip close to his body without separating our lips.
"I love you" I said and before Rafe could answer, his smartphone rang, which was tucked away in his pants pocket somewhere in the pile of our clothes.

"Who is it?" I asked and he showed me his screen where Barry's name lit up.

Flashback over.

I jumped up from the bed and one person popped into my head who might be able to help me contact Rafe.
I need to go to Barry.

Little Note:
I AM BACK!!! I'm so sorry that no new chapters came online for a long time but I had quite a lot of exams and hardly any time to write chapters, but now I have vacations and time to write again. <3

I hope you all are well and healthy.
Merry Christmas!

Lots of love, Ally <3

And tomorrow I'll upload a new part of my one shot story „nightmare"! Stay tuned. <3

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