oblivion ; minsung

"she said to let go"

"If the person you loved most asked you to kill them, would you?"

Minho doesn't answer.

He hangs up.

He leaves the property, flying over the speed limit.

The house is an echo chamber of rage and hatred. Even after Jisung cleansed it, it's the same, everything spirals and spirals until it hits a fever pitch. He knew better than to speak, to open up, still inside the house, still under its control, heart ricocheting off the walls. Even when Jisung's voice sounded so close to shattering.

The question hasn't had a chance to sink in. Until now. Until Minho stops at an intersection, hands clutching the steering wheel, eyes trained on the red light.

If the person you loved most asked you to kill them, would you?

He rubs his face, drags his hands through his hair. He doesn't understand, where the hell is this coming from? Is this why Jisung hasn't called? Has he been rethinking... everything? His life?

It's almost funny. (It isn't funny at all.) Dying is what they've been trying to avoid. To think they could just choose to...

It's terrifying. Everything is terrifying and difficult and awful — Minho knows — but would Jisung really look for a way out? Would he... ask Minho to do it? Could Minho do it?

Death roars inside him like a predator locked on the scent of blood.

Minho pulls into the motel parking lot. It's dark and quiet, just flickering streetlights and a party somewhere far off. His room is silent, empty. Thank God. He changes out of his dinner clothes and sits in the bathtub under the shower spray. Once he's out, he can't keep his hands off the phone, just holding it, though he can't call so long as he's angry, volatile. It won't help anything. It won't get him answers.

Sitting at the foot of his bed, he tentatively dials Jisung's number and waits, phone to his ear, listening to the ringing, ringing, ringing. More ringing. Goddamnit, Jisung, pick up the fucking phone.

He's angry again. He hangs up.

He tries again after gulping water from the tap. He dials and tries not to think while it's ringing, ringing, ringing. Then it stops ringing.

"Minho?"

He actually answered. Minho scrambles for something to say. "You... you called the house."

"I called your motel first, you didn't pick up. Have you thought about what I said?"

Thought? Yes. Composed anything resembling a coherent response? No.

He tries to breathe. He doesn't want to descend into madness again. Though Jisung is definitely mad. His voice still sounds hoarse, exhausted.

"I just... I want to know what you're thinking," Minho says.

The line is quiet, but he can hear Jisung, trying to force the words out. Minho imagines him, lips trembling, rubbing his eyes, swallowing against a hitch. The image should melt him. Instead restless hate boils beneath his skin.

"I don't know. I needed... another opinion and I didn't know who else to ask. This is so fucked up. It's so fucked up and I don't know what to do."

"You don't have to do it."

"I can't just — she won't let it go, okay? She told me she wanted to die and I got so angry, but now... now I don't know what to feel."

Oh, Minho thinks. He means Nini. Nini is the one who wants to die.

For a beat, he's relieved. And then his heart wilts. He knew Nini was ill, but he didn't think...

"Minho," the voice on the phone whispers. "Say something."

"Nini wants to...?"

"She says it's past her time. Because of Life, she can't naturally..."

"Oh. That must be awful for her."

Jisung scoffs. "Yeah, so fucking awful for her." His voice is sarcastic, resentful.

"Of course it'd be hard for her. She's wasting away. You know that."

Jisung makes another dismissive sound. Minho wants to hurt him. So badly. Physically, verbally, anything. His reality is skewed. His ego is bloated. Like host, like vessel...

Minho pinches himself. Don't lose control.

"You have to do it," he murmurs. "You have to do what's right for her."

The line goes silent. He listens, still pinching himself.

"You have to do it," Jisung whispers.

"What?"

"She wants you to do it. She said you could take the Life out of her, the way I did with Hara. She wants you to kill her."

Minho can barely speak. "You... you would let me?"

"I don't know."

"But she wants me to?"

Jisung's voice is cold, unwilling. "Yes. She's determined."

Minho curls in on himself. Maybe it should seem easy. Maybe violent impulses should feel natural. But... not her. Not Nini. He wants her to stay on this earth. Every time his power surfaces, it only makes everything worse. He hurts everyone he cares about.

Taking Nini's life could be the worst thing he's ever done.

But... if he said no...

Fuck.

Maybe it'd be the worst thing he's ever done. But also the kindest.

Tears well in his eyes. He hates himself for the evil inside, for everything he's done. And what he's about to do.

"Okay," he whispers. "I'll do it."

There's no response, just the dial tone.