As you walked with Billy and Murdoc, the three of you had decided to go to Billy's house. However, you fucking hated Murdoc and only wanted to be with Billy-Senpai 😍 uwu owo.
As you three got into Billy's house, Murdoc immediately ran over to a bedroom and got out his phone. Probably to text Author-Chan or some shit. Wait a minute, we should get to know Author-Chan a bit better!
"NONONO I DON'T WANT TO LEARN ABOUT AUTHOR-CHAN, SHE LIKES A CRUSTY MUSTY DUSTY RUSTY GOTH MAN WHO HASN'T SHOWERED SINCE LIKE 2017 AND IS A ROTTING CORPSE AT THIS POINT!!!!!" You protested, however, your protests did not work, as I am forcing you to get out your phone and invite Author-Chan over for dinner.
"I DON'T WANNA CALL AUTHOR-CHAN, SHE'S EMO!!" You shouted, but still made the call anyways because only I have power now.
Author-Chan was hesitant to come over for dinner, since her hermana used to date Billy, but eventually agreed knowing Murdoc would be there.
You threw your phone at the floor in a fit of rage, but since I am writing this, your phone was fixed by magic, and because I said so. You walked over to Billy wanting to seduce the hottest fucking scarf you've ever seen, until Billy brought up what just happened.
"So mi amor, I heard you invited Author-Chan over for dinner. Y'know (Y/N), it's really nice seeing you have other friends." Billy said, with a smile on his face.
You wanted to say something bad like "NO ME AND AUTHOR-CHAN ARE NOT FRIENDS AND NEVER WILL BE", however, I am the only one with power, so you were nice instead.
"Yeah, Author-Chan is pretty nice I guess. Are you making dinner for the four of us tonight?" You said, gazing into his, uh, ojos? Wait, Billy no tiene ojos. Fuck it, let's pretend he does for the sake of 💖 rOManCe 💖.
"lol no me and Murdoc can't cook besides that one time where Murdoc cut a piece of onion with an axe" Billy replied.
"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I CAN'T COOK FOR SHIT! Whatever, let me just get out a cookbook or something." You said, very angry at the fact that none of you could cook.
You got out a cookbook, and decided to make a fucking cake for dinner, since you didn't know how to cook for shit. As you were getting out the ingredients to make the cake, you heard loud noises coming from upstairs. Now, the only person upstairs was Murdoc. And since you are NICE and KIND, you decided to see if he was hurt or not.
"NO I DON'T WANNA BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS MURDOC I FEEL LIKE I NEED 1,000,000 VACCINATIONS JUST BY BEING IN THE SAME ROOM AS HIM!!!" You shouted, but being powerless since I'm forcing you to go to his room.
You walked in on him on a video call with Author-Chan. He was fucking moaning from jacking off. Yes, soon I will regret ever writing this stupid sentence, but it doesn't hurt to enjoy it while it lasts.
You screamed and ran down the stairs to continue making the cake you were gonna bake.
This was interrupted when you heard knocking on the door. You actually didn't wonder who it could be, because when you opened the door, Author-Chan was at the doorstep, with her least favorite bff, OctoFlameyBall.
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"WHO TF IS THIS MUSTY CRUSTY DUSTY RUSTY NUTELLA HAIR LOOKIN ASS DOING HERE AUTHOR-CHAN?!?!?!?!" You shouted at Author-Chan.
Author-Chan looked quite annoyed and said "Well FIRSTLY (Y/N), you can stop calling me Author-Chan, my name is Helena, and secondly, this is my least favorite bff, OctoFlameyBall."
"hi" OctoFlameyBall said with safe chat.
You invited them in because you were planning to fucking beat them up, but I'm not allowing YOU to beat me up.
Wait should I stop saying Helena and just start saying I because we're basically the same person? Eh I'll do it.
You invited me and OctoFlameyBall inside the house, but I quickly ran upstairs to see Murdoc WITH A FUCKING THONG ON AND INVITED ME TO FEEL THE 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵 𝓮𝓰𝔂𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓪𝓷 𝓼𝓲𝓵𝓴™
(i'd actually fucking love to write a murdoc x reader but i would totally get jealous of everyone reading it and if i just insert murdoc x me it would make me seem narcissistic 😔✌)
You were fucking done with the shit me and Murdoc were doing, but you decided against it because you knew the powers I had in this fanfic, so you got the cake ready and called everyone for dinner.
Billy got off the couch, me and Murdoc got off each other, and we all went to the dinner table.
"Alright everyone I don't fucking know how to cook so I just baked a cake for dinner or some shit." You said, tiredly.
"Oh, (Y/N), you never told me you couldn't cook! I can teach you how!" I said with a smile on my face.
"THAT'S IT I'M FUCKING DONE WITH YOUR SHIT HELENA. I DON'T CARE THAT I HATE MURDOC, HE'S TECHNICALLY MY BOYFRIEND IN THIS STORY. AND ALL YOU'VE BEEN DOING WAS FUCKING HIM AND GETTING YOUR STUPID EMO FACE ALL OVER HIM. LOOK AT HIM, HE HAS BLACK LIPSTICK ALL OVER HIS NECK AND ON HIS LIPS! AND I KNOW MURDOC DOESN'T WEAR LIPSTICK. ALSO, I'D NEVER LET YOUR EMO FUCKING MEDICAL CONDITION TOUCH MY KITCHEN!" You shouted, about to attack me, but since I have all the power, you decided to breathe in and out and rest while Billy shooshed you.
"Mi amor, don't get all worked up. We can have some of the delicious cake you baked!" Billy said, calming you down.
You looked at Billy, then at the cake, then said "But Billy, you didn't even try it yet, how do you know it tastes good?"
"Because mi amor, everything you make is delicious."
You gave Billy and you a big slice of cake, but only gave me and Murdoc a crumb. Honestly, I'd rather eat the crumb you probably made caca de un perro.
By now, Murdoc and I had finished eating our crumbs, and we literally started to fucking kiss at the dinner table, despite it technically being cheating on Billy and (Y/N).
You eagerly awaited for Billy to eat his cake (DON'T FUCKING SAY IT), but your happy expression turned into a frown once you saw his face scrunch up.
"S-So Billy, how does it taste?" You asked.
"Uhhh.." He started, but finally said "EUGHHHH IT TASTES SOUR LIKE FUNKY"
You cried and went up to a random bedroom, only to find it was the sex dungeon of me and Murdoc.
"Tbh it tasted like Pete Wentz" I said to Billy (only one person will get this).
You cried into your knees knowing that the only thing you ever baked in your entire life ended up tasting like Pete Wentz.
Well, while you were crying, you felt sparkles go all over the sex dungeon. You thought this was some fairy godmother coming to save you, but it was actually me and Murdoc coming in the room and us blowing cocaine on you.
You cried harder and ran into an ACTUAL bedroom, and got on your knees and cried. Just then you saw sparkles go all over the bedroom, and lo and behold was the Onceler spawning from the sparkles. "HEY THERE (Y/N), I HEARD YOU WERE SAD, SO ME AND MY BOYFRIEND PIZZA STEVE HAVE COME TO RESCUE YOU FROM THIS DERRANGED POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP YOU'RE IN!!" The Onceler said.
"O-Omgee, P-P-Pizza Steve, my crush since elementary school!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰" You said, as you took the Onceler's hand and flew off.
