if only

5

"Good morning, Ms. Eversteen. How are you today?" Parker greets me as I walk through the doors of the school.

"Great," I lie, flashing a fake smile because I was nervous to encounter Harry today. I try stalling by starting a conversation. "How's your daughter?"

"She's doing well," she says, a bit excited that I asked.

She began talking about everything in her life until the bell rang.

"Oh geez," I laugh nervously. "I'm late,"

"No, that was my bad." Parker laughs as well. "We can talk some more later. Have a wonderful day."

I meet my class waiting outside with Harry. He looks from the student he was talking to, connecting his eyes with mine. A hesitant smile forms on his face as he greets me.

"Ms. Eversteen, late again?"

"Parker held me up," I tell him, trying to avoid that hard eye contact. "Thank you for standing out here with my class, you're a great neighbor." I say, opening my door to let the students flood in.

"Ms. Eversteen," one of my students comes up from behind me and I turn to see his big smile. "Hello, I was wondering if I could get some help with my essay later."

I smile in awe at how shy he was being. "Yes Brennen, you can meet me in my class after school."

His smile somehow gets bigger and he walks off. I look at Harry through the corner of my eye and he just stood there staring at me.

"Seems like you have a little admirer." Harry teases, nudging me. I ignore him, about to shut the door until he stops me. "Okay, clearly, we need to talk." he lowers his voice. "Let me come over later and we can."

"I honestly don't think that's a good idea." I shake my head, finally looking at him. "I think it's best we keep our distance."

"Rylee,"

"Mr. Styles, thank you again." I stop him. "I will– I'll see you around."

"This is ridiculous." he scoffs.

"You're married!" I exclaimed softly. "There's nothing to talk about. I'm not going to be that girl, I'm not and I'm not going to let some guy turn me into that."

"Okay," he nods. "You're right."

-

Today was a tough day. I felt like Harry was around every corner and he was hard to avoid. Now, I was halfway through my second bottle of wine, watching some random show on Netflix. I stopped watching when it came to the sad part, spreading out on the couch. I mistakenly take my phone out and message anyone who would message back.

I felt so alone. I need more friends to hang out with. Kourtney is still at work and I was bored. Monique went back to Boston, so this night was a bust.

Before I could think, my phone was dialing Harry. He doesn't pick up, so I leave an apologetic message on my behavior towards him today. His practice was over an hour ago, why isn't he picking up.

"He's married," I sigh. "I need to stop."

I gulp down my drink and pour another glass. I couldn't just sit here anymore. I went to my room and tried to organize my closet. I end up trying on different dresses that I bought but never worn. I get to one dress and decide it's the last one I was going to try on. It was very short and revealing.

My wine glass was empty, so I grab the bottle to finish the rest. I take one look back at my room and it looked like a tornado went through it. I shut the tv off and blare music loudly. I start dancing like crazy around the apartment until I stub my toe on the coffee table and sat down to rest. I lower the music to hear someone banging on the door.