Broken

DREAMS

The picture you see is of Basheer, the man that Shillan sees in her dream. The same man who she thinks her father will marry her off to!

CHAPTER 3

The audience cheered. Gasps and exclaims followed, as she glided with the grace of a swan, towards the stage. She kept her head wilfully down for the view on the stage would make her blush a deep scarlet , in spite , of all the make up on her face and anyway, she was too conscious of her person to look up at the man who would be her partner in life. Instead, she let her father's hand guide her towards her purpose in life.

Finally, she brought her eyes to behold the view of her husband and shock rattled her being. The man who stood in front of her had cakey and dry skin, wrinkles formed around his features and lines of old age heavily adorned his face. When he smiled at her, she saw broken teeth that had turned crimson with a tinge of pale yellow from the heavy usage of Paan*. His pot bellied figure and short structure was in complete contrast with her form. Utter shock was displayed on her features. Her attempt to mask it was futile and by the time she had finally recovered, it was too late. A flash of anger on Basheer's face told her that he had witnessed her reaction and was not in the least pleased with it. She silently cursed her luck and her good sense. She had begun on her new life with the worst of mistakes. She had made her husband furious. She would have to pay. She would have to pay like her mother paid all her life. Perhaps, she would be luckier. Perhaps, underneath this crocodile of an appearance was a truly genuine man, who would treat her better.

Her thoughts ran vehement, she could no longer restrain her anguish. The dilapidated figure of her mother shook her back to her senses and provided her with the courage to smile brightly, though, she knew that the joy her lips feigned did not reach the sparkle of her eyes. Her mother would know. She always knew. As the withered frame sat next to her on the stage, her heart beat faster. Then as her mother's hand reached hers, a single tear rolled down her cheeks.

Her eyes shot open then, and beheld her audience. Two women clad in white and a man adorned with blue Shalwar Kameez gazed at her intently. She felt the need to scream, to drive away her madness and keep wailing until her insides were sore. Perhaps ,this pain would drown the cavity in her heart causing her to obliterate the affliction her past tormentors had caused her. She was so immersed in her contemplations that she failed to notice the cry that issued from her mouth until, someone touched her lightly on her arm. Her vision refocused and her mouth clamped shut. As her sight cleared, she recognised the person who'd touched her as the man in blue. At once, she crumpled into a ball and moved ,as far as the bed afforded her, away from him. Low moans, incoherent, escaped her. Her words were gibberish to him but her eyes betrayed fear. He realised she was afraid. Afraid of being hurt by a man. In a soft whisper, he poured forward words of comfort, trying to win her opinion.

He knew it was a lost cause but he didn't easily give up on his patients. Shillan was one woman, he was bent on not pushing himself forward with. He didn't want to be the vindication of breaking her even further. Swallowing his pride, he nodded towards one of the nurses who hastily left the room. Shillan's eyes widened in trepidation. She did not want to be left alone with this man in the room. Her actions, followed by this thought, were impetuous even to her, when she leaped towards the end of the bed and grabbed hold of the remaining woman. Her eyes watered and desperation lined them. She pleaded with the woman to not leave her, with her eyes, not trusting herself to speak. Shillan saw shock outline the woman's face, swiftly replaced by anxiety. The woman looked up at the man who nodded at her, ever so slightly. Her features now revealed confidence now and she brought her arm forward to hug Shillan. Shillan's body turned rigid, she had not experienced a comforting action in her life since she was five. She blanked out on how to reciprocate. It had been long, far too long since, she had felt loved. Her mind had erased all feelings of fervour and vehemence from her memory. Instantly, she pushed away the woman. She could not trust her. No one showed kindness to Shillan. NO ONE. She was a nuisance. Yes, this woman would hurt her too. She had to keep away.

Paan: These are betel leaves prepared and used as a stimulant.

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