I'll Be Okay (C.M.B)

Chapter 46 - Official

Waking up to Jonah's face after last night was one of the best feelings in the world. I smiled knowing that in some way or another this man was attached to me. It was in that moment that I wanted to make things official. I had forgotten about ever loving Corbyn and instead I simply just saw him as a co-parent and a friend. My only fear was that Jonah wouldn't want to commit because of my two boys. He said it himself the night before, they completely tired him out. I didn't wanna force him into a responsibility, while having to keep secrets from the public and his best friends. I realized that it was selfish of me for wanting a relationship with Jonah, it still wasn't something that I should pursue even though we were this far.

I put one of his shirts on and it basically covered me completely. Looking at him, I then checked my phone to see a text from Corbyn.

Corbyn: Watched the video, I know both of u for way too long to not be wrong about this: how long has smth been going on? Plz call me when u wake up

I glanced over at Jonah. I looked over at his phone to see a few texts from Corbyn, he probably wanted to talk to him too. I woke up Jonah and showed him the text instantly: his were virtually the same.

Within two minutes we made the decision we would tell Corbyn and not lie. Jonah, being Corbyn's best friend and band mate was going to be the first to call. We agreed it'd be best to take the call individually, so I was unable to hear anything Jonah exactly said.

I was told that Jonah explained everything to Corbyn and how we weren't actually together. After getting the whole story, Corbyn declared he needed space and hung up. I knew that after my call with him he'd run back to Jonah to tell him to go fuck himself.

Jonah left me alone to go make breakfast. I had a good fifteen minutes before Rocky would wake up, and another fifteen after that until Carter woke up.

"Hey Corbyn," I spoke into the phone ready to be bombarded.

"Hey, this wasn't going on when we were together. Right?" Corbyn asked.

I was taken aback from how calm he was. There seemed to be no emotion in his voice.

"I can promise you it wasn't. I was probably the closest to Jack, I always wanted you and was incredibly loyal to you," I answered, "It wasn't until a few weeks after we broke up that anything developed. There was nothing serious until this break. We kissed once during Thanksgiving gift, we didn't do anything but actually sleep together."

"Are you two together?" Corbyn questioned, "Jonah told me it was complicated."

"Yeah, it's really complicated. We established that we like each other, but I'm still in love with you. And that we could never actually be together because of you and public opinion," I replied, "So like technically we're not."

"Emma, I've been thinking about what you said. Here's why I'm not mad at you. Jonah's a fucking douchebag, but I understand you. You're right that we shouldn't try again. One of us will be hurt at the end and although I really like you, I see what you mean that it's for the boys that we're apart. I'd rather keep a good friendly relationship so the boys can grow up with parents who love each other at least in some form. If we were to be together again, you're right I think one of us would screw up. The other would never want to talk to them again. I also know it's my fault for our end. As much as I regret it, I can't do anything about it. Emma, I love you and our boys. I want you to be happy. If you wanna be with whoever you want just do it. As long as you're happy I'm happy. I'll let you know though Jonah didn't get this speech, I gave him hell," Corbyn lectured, he put a large emphasis on the idea that he was not as easy on Jonah.

"Thank you Corbyn, it means a lot to me. You are such an amazing father for being able to be so selfless and keep our relationship civil and pure. If you wanna talk about this in person we can too," I replied.

"Well of course I gotta support you through any type of relationship you decide to have. You don't owe me anything just because we were once together," Corbyn spoke his voice broke only slightly, "To be honest I'd rather you talk about Jonah as little as possible to me though."

I knew this phone call was painful for him, but it really gave the two of us the type of closure we needed. We established there was love, but the love was stronger to realize that we shouldn't be together. I didn't think Corbyn would have this realization for years, but I was glad that he had it.

"Got it Corbyn, the least I can do for you. If we ever decide to get into a relationship you'll be the first to hear though so you know," I informed.

"Thank you Em," Corbyn spoke.

Our phone call was then interrupted by Rocky who cried in the background. Corbyn understood and we hung up the phone. I went over towards Rocky and fed him, staring into his brown eyes. He didn't get Corbyn's color, but there was something about the shape that really reminded me of Corbyn.

Corbyn's maturity was so alluring, but as a good parent I knew that was the end of any romance we could possibly have. If only he was like that during the actual relationship.

When I finished feeding Rocky, I went into the living room to see that Carter had woken up and was playing with Jonah at the table.

"How'd it go?" Jonah asked running his hands through his hair.

"Good," I answered, "He told me he'd support me through any decision I make because we're coparents that should be friendly and civil for the boys."

"Ah, well he told me he'd kill me," Jonah boasted, "he made me promise I wouldn't fuck up like he did."

"Strange he's acting so well about this," I commented.

"It's because he's gonna ask out Lera soon," Jonah replied.

When Jonah said that, my chest hurt a little bit. I knew there was a reason for him being so nice. He didn't care about me nor actually wanted a relationship, he just wanted Lera still. He wasn't being selfless, he just had something lined up behind him the entire time.

"Of course," I sighed, "You know Jonah. I wanna do this right. Let's hold off on dating. I can't still be in love while trying to date you, it wouldn't be right. I won't see anyone else, but if you'd like go ahead and see other girls. If we're gonna ever do this, it's gotta be right."

"I won't see anyone else. I understand though, take your time Emma. We're officially not official. I'll be waiting for as long as you still want me. The second you feel ready, I'll be here," Jonah declared.