Teasing Fate |The Outsiders|

27. Crash And Burn

"YOU CAN'T KILL WHAT'S ALREADY DEAD."

***

Peace never lasts long on the east side. There are always tires screeching, people yelling, something breaking. Whether it be glass, bones, or families never seem to be anyone's major concern, though. We're just happy to sit by and watch the destruction settle in, like a thick smoke that'll stain your family name for generations to come.

It was ten o'clock on a Wednesday night and I was sitting with my brother and sister in the living room. Curly was sprawled across the floor on his back, watching the television through his mass of black curls hanging down in front of his eyes like a curtain. Angela and I were pushed into the corners of the couch, I was smoking, she was filing her nails. Dad had taken off some hours ago, not before slapping a few bills on the table and telling us to order some food, though. Mom was tucked away in her bedroom, drinking herself into unconscious bliss like she'd been doing for years.

I wasn't even sure what we were watching at this point. Another black and white stick-'em-up cowboy flick, probably where Curls is getting his inspiration for jumping fifth graders for lunch money. Sure, it was kinda weird Angela decided to sit down with us since these were never her kinda thing, but I really didn't think much of it. I had a cigarette between my lips as I ran my fingers over the back of my hand, tracing the scars and marks. I'd been pulling Curly's teeth out ever since he started losing them, so pulling it out for Sodapop had been no issue at all. The problem was that he fucking bit me. And maybe I did deserve it for giving his sister a hickey -- and taking her virginity -- but I was able to push that aside. Sodapop Curtis was a pretty decent kid, but he could fight dirty. It's gonna be a real goddamn shame when someone knocks him into place, and I don't pity them one bit. Not when they'd have to face Marley afterwards.

She seemed pretty pissed at her brother once everything calmed down, so I took that as my opportunity to escape. It didn't stop her from catching up and walking alongside me until we reached the end of her street though. After everything that had happened, watching her smile had been a real nice change -- even if it vanished and she cussed me out for giving her a hickey. "Are you fixing to get your head busted in again?" She'd asked me. The obvious answer was no. I was in no way trying to get my head on a spike at the hands of the Curtis brothers, but I didn't say that. I said I didn't mean to, that I wasn't paying attention, that it looked good on her. Same as always, all it took was one compliment for her cheeks to flush red. She told me I was a pain, and that I better get lost before Soda comes to his senses and realizes what we'd actually done. I told her I'd see her around. I left before I told her I liked her. That I'd face her brothers over and over again if it meant I got to see her one more time.

I wasn't a smooth talker the way Ang and Curly were. I was brash and violent, tuff and scary. I don't even know why Marley decided she liked me -- or what I'd done to deserve it -- but I knew I wasn't about to give her up easily.

"Where'd you think Dad goes?" Curly asks from the floor. He's rolled around onto his stomach, hands under his chin and holding it up. He's looking up at me, eyes wide with curiosity rather than malice. Like he's seven again, coming to me and asking why some mean guys in blue vests pushed him into their car. Like I still have all the answers. I know where he is, obviously, since someone has to be able to come up with a decent alibi if he gets caught. He's down on the Ribbon, selling acid to a bunch of teenagers too stoned outta their minds to know what they're dealing with. I know we'll all head off to bed soon and pretend to be asleep, staring at our ceilings and the shadows that never give us a minute of peace. Dad'll stumble in late, eyes bloodshot and reeking of beer or something stronger. He's just as bothered as the rest of us -- shooting your dad at seventeen will do that to you -- but we've just grown used to his mumbling and drunken curses. You can't kill what's already dead, so he aims for the few family pictures we have instead.