Under The Sun

Pain

We all know what pain feels like. A feeling on its own, that harbors a heavy load. Maybe the pain of losing someone close to you, being betrayed by a lover, insulted by family, losing a child to police brutality. We're all familiar with that feeling.

Yes pain is heavy, yes it's lonely and yes it's scary. But that's the role of pain. Sometimes you feel alone on the boat, like sailing to an unknown land. But if you keep going, you'll know there's always a land for you to find peace. Pain is depressing because it tricks your mind. And yes it has tricked some of us to hurt ourselves because at the time, it feels suicide will take it all away or maybe means running away from it. It's like you're breathing but also choking at the same time. "Air, air, air, I need air" you tell yourself. But you can't run from your pain. Why choose to run, when you can face it, like an old friend. Conversate with it. Be inspired

You do not have to go through it alone. But it's wise to sometimes sit with your solitude and listen to your heart. Pain is only worse as you make it to be. You see, you can take your pain and make it your strength, your support and motivation to thrive. Thrive to be better than those who've imposed that feeling in you.

They are certain pains that cannot be explained. But only felt. Learn to not linger in pain for too long. Feel it and let go. Like everything in the world, people feel pain for a reason. Pain is there to help us grow, to shape us into different individuals. Because we were not born to stay the same. We've all been deeply wounded, each one of us in our lives. But this is no excuse to be ignorant, arrogant, hateful, rude, and spiteful. When you harbor hate for too long, you carry this feeling with you everywhere you go. Let me tell you it's not pretty, it's childish. Mothers who've lost their kids to police brutality, they're in pain everyday. The feeling of not straining to hear your child anymore or even a laughter. But these mothers, these warriors have not succumbed to the pain of their children being gone. But rather, have started organizations to help support those moms who like them, are going through the same thing. They've chosen to make their pain their strength.

Maybe doing the work, for certain people it's too much. Because sometimes people are afraid to discover who they really are. We all hide behind pain. It's from pain that we learn how to be humans. Pain is a lesson that crafts your soul. And as much as people deny it, pain is your best friend just as much as life and death is. Where we go wrong most of the time it's when we try to compare our pain with others. Pain has no level. Each one of us suffers equally. Whether you be Black, Asian or white. It's the same pain. And if one thing affects a small community, it affects the whole world because we are all on a spider web.

That's the beauty of pain, it's that we can all relate to it. But we can also choose how we take it in and heal from it. And I'm not saying healing from any type of pain is an overnight work. It's all about the time you put into it. You see, when you heal from any pain that's been inflicted on you, you help the world in itself become a better place for others. And as a black congolese African woman, I know what trauma feels like, loneliness, and disrespect. You don't have to linger in that pain forever. Like many things in your life, you can choose to walk away. You are your own healer. Even if you follow the steps and put in 2 hours of therapy, 35 minutes of meditation. These will only help so little, if you don't put in the emotional work.

Self healing is facing your problems, no matter how tough they are. Like all the strong, brave protesters that have been outside since the beginning of 2020. Protesting, not just for themselves but also for their peers, brothers and family members. Despite how tough police officers have been on them. They've remained strong. Self healing is being honest with yourself no matter the circumstances, because bad habits are born from pain. Whether you believe it or not.

But remember to be kind with yourself, while healing. Be patient because self love is a long journey that can be exhausting at times. The love you give yourself comes at no cost, it's free love.

We all know what pain feels like. Could be, a ghost in a shell, a flower growing on its own in the middle of the road. A single mom that works day and night to give her kids a future. A wife being abused by her husband. An innocent child who's been hurt, by a trusting adult. A man who loses his love of 60 years. A woman, whose education was stripped by a religious family. A woman who must succumb to society's morals. A black mom who loses her child to police brutality. An old man who's never going to see his grandkids. A child who is depressed in a religious family. A heart that has always known pain. A soul that's been mourning its whole life. And the heavy load that comes with it.