Motherhood Lessons²

Rest

17x10

Ivy finds herself sitting next to Jackson at another attendings meeting as Richard starts, "I appreciate everyone pulling extra shifts. Bailey does, too. Uh, she'll be back in a few days. Thank you, Dr. Ndugu, for pitching in where needed. Boston's hit another surge, so we need to let him get back."

Maggie quickly asks, "How's Meredith?"

"Her vital signs are stable. Her morning labs were good. Oxygen requirements are decreasing," Jackson tells her.

"Enough to take her off the vent?" Ivy asks.

"Let's see if the trend continues," Jackson errors on the side of caution.

Ivy sighs, gathering some papers, makes her way to standing next to Richard, "Let's hope it does and not just for her sake. As of five o'clock this morning, we are down to the last four available ventilators. So, until relief arrives, we need to all think creatively. Ventilators need to become a last resort. There's, uh, putting them on BiPAP, the hyperbaric chamber, uh, proning. All other options need to be exhausted first."

Richard looks to Jackson, "So, if you extubate Meredith, and she starts to trend downward again, we may not have another one available. So, let's not make the call to pull her off until we are 100% certain. And Dr. Shepherd-Avery is going to be unreachable for the next few hours, so no one page her."

"What?" Ivy looks to him.

"You have been burning the candles at both ends and in the middle since DeLuca. You need rest and with Hunt and Koracick back, you can afford to take a moment to rest," Richard tells her.

"Mer is still on a vent, DeLuca is still dead, Altman, Bailey and Amelia aren't back yet, and Link is back to work on one patient. There are still too many surgeons out for me to even consider-"

Jackson steps in, turning Ivy towards him, "Take a break. Go sit with Meredith or lay in an on-call room, I don't care. You need to sleep. What would you tell DeLuca if the situation was reversed."

Ivy glares at him slightly, "You can't pull that card on me."

He smirks, winking at her, "Yes I can. Now, I love you, but you look kinda like death. So, go get some rest. We'll get you if the hospital starts to burn down. Maybe."

"I hate you," Ivy hits his arm.

"I love you too, now go rest. Now," He points her towards the hospital, telling her to go lay down.

"Fine."

○○○○

Ivy finds herself in Meredith's room. She sits next to her and starts talking, "Has Derek visited you? I found that whenever I was in a coma or surgery or basically whenever I found myself in one of these beds, him and Mark would find themselves surrounding me and bugging me. Derek's favorite thing to do was check in on you or argue with Mark. Mark's favorite thing was to argue with Derek and give me life advice. My favorite thing is to try and encourage their fighting. It's like when we were kids. I miss that. I miss getting to just be happy without this guilt. This guilt of me getting to live while they are gone. My dad, Reed, Charles, Lexie, Mark, Derek, now Andrew. They are gone but I get to live? How is that fair? I just want that feeling to go away or-or to lessen even. But I don't know how to do that. It helps when I have my kids but they are at your house, safe. Jackson and I are trying to be safe, especially since we both see COVID patients, and I just miss the before. I'll know we are getting back there when you get better, so please, get better Mer."

○○○○

After talking at Meredith, Ivy finds an on-call room and sleeps. She sleeps all day and is only awoken to Jackson literally dragging her out of bed.