The Man Inside The Walls

Chapter Nine:

Brahms POV:

"Brahms." the blank figure called my name as it came closer. The lava in my lung scorched my insides as I continued to try to suck in fresh air. 

'why is this happening to me?!'

"Brahms listen to me, you need to breathe." The voice screamed at me, ordering me to breathe. What did they think I was trying to do!? Of course I was trying to breathe.

'where's my Alice'

I glared harshly at the figure. They were in my way. It was their fault I felt like this! 

'she'll get away!'

"Don't you tell me what to do!" I said quickly while thinking of Alice. She hates me. Why couldn't she just listen! 

'How could I be so stupid!'

"Brahms." the voice boomed while swinging their arm out at me. What are they?! What do they want! 

"No! Don't come near me!" I screamed while throwing my arm out which connected to the side of the figure's face. But suddenly the air around me became icy cold instead of lava. That person's face was soft. So soft and familiar. The smell of honey filled my nose and the blurred figure that was once attacking me cleared to show me Alice. 

My Alice.  

I had just smacked her.

I smacked my Alice!

'Oh god.'

Looking at the side of her face I saw the large red mark that immediately began to form and couldn't help the quick breath that I took.

 I hit her so hard that she wont look at me. I hit her so hard that I snapped her head to the side!

"Alice? I didn't mean it." My perfect, perfect girl. I called out her name shakily, and watched as she slowly took in a breath and turned her face to look back at me. My heart broke when I saw the unshed tears in the corners of her eyes. My innocent soft angel. 

'I really am a monster'

She blew out the breath before giving me a tight smile.

"I know you didn't mean it; but let's calm down now okay?" her soft voice questioned evenly before reaching out for my hands. Just her reaching out for me made me obediently give her what she wanted. Don't hate me. I didn't mean it.

 "Now lets sit back down on the bed."

Alice led me to the bed and we both sat down and she gave me an encouraging smile before blowing out a breath. She seemed lost in thoughts for multiple moments; but the sparkle was missing from her gorgeous green eyes.

'I took it away'

 I hate myself. I hurt her. My poor Alice.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen when you said to keep my eyes closed. It's hard to do that when you're really in the heat of the moment; I apologize for making you uncomfortable." I was completely lost in my thoughts until she spoke and said this so sincerely and evenly.

I watched her face thinking of how beautiful she was when she blushed and how innocent and perfect she was. How God had made someone so perfect I didn't know. My touch was too much for her to bare. 

Of course she'd want to see my face as I kiss her.

'that was almost our first kiss'

She blushed a beautiful red color while rubbing her thumb across the top of my hand that she was still holding. I shook my head after a moment before speaking.

"No, it's to be expected. I got carried away and couldn't control myself."- I was consumed by you- "It's only normal for you to be curious." 

I said while running my fingers through my hair while looking down at the bed thinking of the wonderful raw feelings we had shared just moments ago. But after a moment I refocused on her face. I was curious, but I'm pretty sure I already knew the answer.

'that's probably the last time I'll get to touch her soft body'

 "You think I'm a monster don't you?" I questioned. Why wouldn't she? My own mother hated my face after the fire, and on top of that I smacked her.

Alice stayed quiet for a moment before standing up, and in that moment I knew I was right. I watched her, looking from her green eyes to her red neck before looking away feeling defeated.

'I ruined it'

I closed my eyes while keeping my gaze facing the other way, my poor Alice. My heart hurt with the rejection but I knew it to be true before she even said anything. Though suddenly she plopped down onto my lap catching me completely off guard. On reflex I almost tossed her off, but stopped when that playful sparkle came back into her eyes.

'what is she doing?'

"Would I do this if I thought so lowly of you?" she questioned situating herself by rubbing her thighs against my own. The tingly feeling from before perked up but I pushed it away trying to focus on her. She reached forward suddenly towards my mask again. Immediately I jumped and tried to pull away but she gave me a small glare. Gosh she looked so cute. How could I refuse her?

I sucked in a breath and held it as she pulled the mask away gently before setting it on the bed.

I knew she was scanning my face very slowly and in that instance I wanted to look anywhere but at her face; I knew that she'd be disgusted, horrified even, and I did not want to watch those emotions go across her features. So I refused to look. Instead I looked at her forehead, or her pretty little ears, or the ceiling, or the walls; anything but that look of disgust she was sure to have.

"Or this?" her delicate voice asked reaching her small hand out and lightly tracing my nose making me flinch at her touch but refocus back on her own face. I was completely still while I allowed this, I hadn't felt another humans touch in so long.

"Perhaps this?" she asked in an airy voice before leaning forwards and capturing my lips for a few seconds. I was stunned. She was kissing me? Even after all of this?

She still wanted me?

After a moment she pulled away and kissed my cheek softly. She didn't hate me. My Alice was such a wonderful person. Tears formed in my eyes, but in this moment I didn't care. How did I get so lucky?

I pulled her into my arms while I cried silently, she rubbed my chest as I cried. It had been ages since I cried like this. When was the last time I cried?

We stayed like that for hours until I fell asleep cuddled into her chest. She was so warm, so soft. I loved it.

And I love her.