LOT'S MOUNTAIN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Murders and Teddy Bears

... I'm supposed to become a Stone Man? They murdered the Glass Man's family when he was a kid. I'm supposed to be someone who'd be able to do that ...

After I leave the office, I keep walking, sticking to a narrow space between a hedge and the red brick of the school building wall. That's when I see her. Not the Stone Men her, but Jamie. She's sitting right in front of me, her head propped on her drawn-up knees and her arms are wrapped around her legs.

The other kids file by, but nobody stops. Nobody knows she's here.

Except me. I could just leave. Just walk to the row of buses, right? Jamie doesn't want to be found or she wouldn't be hiding here. If she wanted company, she'd go find Mark, or she'd go cry in public to make sure there's a bunch of people that could come over to make her feel better. Besides, it's probably only a bad grade or something. From what I can see, her life is pretty much perfect. I don't know that much about her, except that she does great in school and has a ton of friends. The last thing she wants is me waltzing right up to say hello, right?

But I can't let her sit there alone. She's been nothing but nice to me. If Stan Estes has done something to her like he terrorizes Mark and about half of the school, I'm going to have to walk up to him and punch him in the face.

Come to think of it, that might feel pretty good even if he hasn't done anything to her.

I slip down beside her. That's when I realize that she's staring at a newspaper clipping. Quickly, she crumples it and shoves it into her backpack. I wait for her to ask me to leave, but she doesn't. Instead, she leans into me.

I don't want to move. If I do, then she'll realize that I'm me and tell me to get the hell away. All around us, the whole world rushes by. Kids run for the buses that are lined up, their doors yawning open so that everybody can pile in.

A few kids are wearing white collared shirts that are tucked into their jeans. Their shirts don't have a speck of imperfection on them. They remind me of those freaks with the Glass Man, the ones with the First Church of Lot's Mountain.

I keep staring at those perfect shirts. Perfect isn't normal. Normal is dropping your books sometimes. Normal is saying the wrong thing at the worst time possible.

And I am scared of doing just that, of screwing up. Jamie sits there, her back against the school. Her blond hair's a little messed up, but that's okay. She leans into me even more. I really don't know why she's letting me stay here. Maybe part of her really did want to be found. Maybe she's glad somebody noticed.

I hope Jamie's not looking for help because I have my own special brand of nuts I'm working on. But that doesn't make me leave her.

Above us, the clouds keep rolling by. I always thought that everybody's life was way better than mine. I figured it had to be. But that's when I notice the scars on Jamie's wrist.

I could ask her if she's okay. Should I? Those cuts are real old, but they're the kind of scars somebody would have if they had taken a knife or a razor blade and sliced real deep. Whatever's bothering her —

The bus engines roar. They're getting ready to take off. I'm surprised Mindy didn't organize a search and rescue mission to find me.

"Don't you ride the bus?" Jamie's the first one to speak, shattering the invisible bubble around us. It's hard to explain, but it's like we were in our own little piece of okay, our own little world. But now that one of us said something, everything breaks apart.

Jamie waits for me to answer her about the bus thing, but as soon as she looks in my eyes, my head fills up with stupid.

Saving me from whatever dumb thing I would have come up with, she offers, "I could give you a ride."