5SOS Book of Imagines

LRH // Bookish (3)

You never thought you were able to experience such happiness.

All your life, all your 17 years of existence, you thought and believed that all you deserved was misery. That you deserved to be alone. That all the mean things your classmates in grade school told you were true, that you were worthless, that you didn't deserved to live.

People will hurt you. That's all they know to do. So you stayed away from them, instead you drowned yourself with books. You didn't believe in self-harm, it was a waste of life, a sin against the Lord. So you settled for books. It almost made everything bearable. In books you can lose yourself in different worlds, in worlds where you weren't hurt by the people around you. Where you can be yourself and not get judged for it.

But there was one person who changed it for you, your old point of view.

One person was all it took for your crumbling heart to try fix itself up and be better for somebody else. For him. Maybe it was actually him who put your shattered pieces and put them back together. Maybe your heart didn't fix itself for him, maybe it was him who fixed you.

He was a ray of sunshine in your dark, cloudy, pain-infested world. Luke Hemmings, who would've thought?

It was still surreal, how happy he made you. How different you are now when you're together, when a month ago you didn't even talk to people. You thought you did the right thing by giving him a chance to be your friend because he definitely brought light to your world. You really were scared then, but something in his ocean blue eyes that just made you say yes, that made you agree to be his friend, that made you open up.

"Hey," he nudged your shoulders, realizing how deep in thought you were. You were both at the cafe, having coffee and snacks after leaving the library. You two spend every day there, just reading, talking, knowing each other.

"Sorry," you smiled while looking down but you already knew that his eyes are shining again. It always does every time you talk, though you don't know why.

"What are you reading this time?" he urged on, gesturing at the book you had opened on your lap.

"Um, Beautiful Creatures."

"I've watched the movie, but I haven't read the book. On what part are you?" he kept asking. This was the weird thing about him, he always wanted to keep you talking whenever he had the chance. He once told you he liked hearing your voice, which made you blush but you ignored it.

"On the civil war reenactment part," you said.

"Oh, that's a cool part. Have you watched the movie? Did they change any scenes or stuff?" he said while taking a bite off of his donut.

You shook your head.

"You should watch it, then! So you can compare," he smiles his cute two-dimpled smile and you looked down, embarrassed by yourself that you stared a bit too long.

"I guess so," you said and took your frappe and took a sip.

"Later, my place?" he said, making your head snap up and he bit his lip like he said a wrong thing. He never asked you to go to his place. You never talked about it but he knew how fragile you were and how you weren't supposed to be rushed into other - friendly - things.

You pursed your lips, movie night? Why not? It always seemed to be fun in the books you've read, "Sure."

His expression of pure shock and happiness made you blush yet again so you look down, letting your hair fall on the side of your face, hiding the awful, embarrassing pink tint on your cheeks.

The whole afternoon you got weirded out by Luke's unusual behavior. He excused himself after the snacks even though you were still supposed to go to the library and get some new books for him to read but he hastily said that he suddenly had plans.

You were sulking by your usual seat in the library, alone this time. You never had to read alone again because Luke was always with you, every single day for the whole month. You thought it was nice to have some peace for yourself again, but you knew you've gone too comfortable with him by your side. You wanted him there. Always.

His sudden indifference left you wondering, has he regretted his offer of watching movies? Did he realize he didn't want to be friends with you on that sort of level? You were overthinking, but the thought lingers.

You closed your book, unable to concentrate anymore. This is a bad thing, when even reading can't help take away your bad thoughts. Has Luke made his way to your heart that easy? Maybe. He was so lovable, so likeable, he had a ready smile every time you would talk to him. He never fails to make you happy.

You felt pathetic, feeling heartbroken when there was nothing in the first place. But you couldn't blame yourself, he was the first one to try and break your walls again, the first one to try and know you. It was a given that you'd grow fond of him.

Sighing as you stand up, you walked out the library, thinking of just going home because maybe Luke had forgotten about the movie night. Not even stepping one foot off the library doors, you heard someone calling out and you raised your head.

It was Luke, running out of his car. 

The cloud of sadness that had been surrounding you had quickly vanished and your sulky face suddenly broke out in a smile. That easy. He makes you happy by just showing up. He didn't bail. He didn't back out. He wants to be friends with you.

"Sorry, I got tied up in something," he laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck."Movie night still on?"

You nod, a small smile in your face.

And he smiles back in the most wonderful way possible, you loved the thought that you were the reason for his godly beautiful smile. His dimples show, which makes him look so cute.

"Let's go?" he smiled and offered his hand.

Gulping, you put your hands in his and he slowly intertwined it with his, smiling down on you as he did. He lead you to his car and opened the passenger seat.

"Thank you," you said shakily as you sat, watching him walk around and get on the driver's seat, his sudden - and unusual - gentleness sending weird sensations inside your stomach. Like there were things wrestling and tumbling inside. You thought, were these the butterflies that you've always read in the books? 

He finally got in and started the engine but before he did, he looked at you, smiling that two-dimpled cute smile again. And as you felt the weird tumbles in your stomach you thought, yep, those are the butterflies.